Plenty of Scorn to go Around

The weather is beautiful for this time of year... the kids outside are yelping and playing, the neighbor is working on miscellaneous bizarre art projects on the porch, the smashed up car from Super Bowl XL is still next to the telephone pole. So why am I not out enjoying the day?

I'm in law school, staring at an appellate brief that needs to be completed.

Yes... and on this fine day it has incited my wrath.

Take these fine blogs for example: Shmooed Food and Vegan Lunch Box. Why do they get to be so awesome? I'll tell you why...

"I'm a stay-at-home mom with a work-at-home hubby and one groovy little shmoo. I'm a vegan activist who loves to cook (and eat!)."

I don't have a hubby or a groovy little shmoo. I am neither a vegan (although I love exploring it) or an activist (at least not in the proper use of the term). I am not going to rant about how unfair it is that 'some people get to stay at home and do whatever they want and others have to go to work and bust their butts to make a living and put food on the table and are unpaid, overworked, and unappreciated and life is a big machine and we're all slaves to the grind and just wanna make a better life for our kids....' blaaaaaaaaaa, ad nauseam.

Because when you get right down to it, I'm envious of this woman. I'm envious of her adorable vegan lunch box, her knitting, her staying-at-home, her little shmoo (whatever the hell that is, probably a kid, but it still sounds spectacular... I'm calling my hypothetical child a little shmoo as well), her work at home hubby, the whole shabang.

I'm also jealous of my boyfriend who is currently, as I type away, being hooked up with a new, totally sweet ass computer... all for the grand total of $530 (our friend is helping him build it).


And of my landlord, who today sent me in a postcard in the mail from Falcon State Park.

"This is one of our favorite parks for birding. We're seeing colorful orioles, jays and flycatchers. Sibley [their dog] enjoys the exotic smells of coyotes chavalina [wtf is this?]. We're eating lots of Texas oranges, avocados, and grapefruits!"

Yeah... you guys have a blast. I'll be fine in Snowsylvania.... Coldsylvania... ILoveToWhinesylvania.

Of course, I love seeing people that are really making the most of things. It's probably the most inspirational thing I can think of. It helps me see that life can be so many different things, and that I don't need to be scared of it.

Every day for approximately the last 4-5 months (wow, it seems so much longer than that) I have contemplated pulling the plug on this career path. And for the last week, I feel like I've finally climbed the mountain and I'm looking over the edge. Man, I'm just like Frodo and the Ring. I want to throw it into the fire, but I'm also scared. It's been with me for so long. Throwing it away means changing a part of me, losing something. Even though I know it's not what's best for me. Part of me wants to keep it, just to avoid the pain. Good thing Sam is there to give me a good kick in the ass!! ("Sam" knows who he is... although he probably either stopped reading this ridiculous extended metaphor or he hurt himself when smacking his forehead with embarrassed discomfort).

Don't worry, the Ring is about in the fire. I'm just saying some parting words. And I will dump the metaphor now as well.

Further, if you're thinking about law school, do not go right after college. Even if you've 'known it's what you've wanted to do since you were 5, have been working your entire undergraduate career to get there, have done menial tasks at a law firm before, have a family full of lawyers, everyone's telling you that you'd be so great at it'... again, ad nauseam.

These are not good reasons. If I could change your mind by getting on my knees and begging/pleading that you need to really get experience in a law firm (doing legal research and writing) AND nonlegal experience AND conduct informational interviews with lawyers to see what you might like to do (because you will not have time to figure it out when you get there... trust me, you lose) before you go, I would do it. Sure, everyone's experiences and goals are different, but having more experience if you do choose to go later will only help you and set you ahead. The older law students I know are all happy... it's us younguns who love to fuss.

Go buy this book by Deborah Schneider (JD holder) and Gary Belsky (dropped out). I wanted to post the introduction to the book (I scanned it and mailed it to my Peace Corps friend in Africa; this is how strongly I feel), but I'm scared of copyright death. It is really great because it helps you take an honest look at your ideas about law school. It guides you into making an informed decision that you will feel good about. And that, my friends, is the key.

Decisions you're dissatisfied with, yet you commit to for life, means no vegan lunch box or little shmoo, no sweet ass computer, no bird watching and coyote chavalinas at Falcon State Park. You don't get an award for making yourself miserable. Think about it.