• mallorean
  • stiff"
  • pledged"
  • Buffy"

Monday, February 26, 2007



Max is gone. I need to breath.



This weekend was filled with very good and very bad news. I'll start with bad first and post later with all the good.

Our family cat we've had since before I can remember isn't doing well. He's 19 years old (one freaking old cat), but it definitely doesn't make it any easier. He's stopped eating and drinking and is very dehydrated. He's not walking well. The vet did blood tests and mentioned beginning "aggressive treatment," but they did not mention putting him down.

I'm not excited to put him to sleep, but with the state he's in he can't be comfortable! And why would you introduce aggressive treatment to a 19 year old cat? It seems cruel to me to put him through all sorts of testing, tubes and fluids only to get just a little more time with him in return. He's already lived much longer than your average cat. I want him to stop suffering, but I'm not home and there's not much I can do.

Saturday, February 24, 2007



Ok, ok... that title is pretty lame, I know.

Thanks for the compliments! My ranting would probably be more justified if I gave a comparison.

Here are two views of the back of my hair. The
first one is a cut I got a few years ago from my old stylist. The second photo is from this past week's haircut. Notice one is nicely layered and flippy and the other is pretty flat.

Wow, looking at them like this really brings out the difference. I also didn't realize the highlights I got in November are so blonde. I think I still like them, though. Highlights are fun!


Friday, February 23, 2007


The Haircut

I've gone to the same hair stylist in the city where my parents live for about 6 or 7 years. I've gone to another person maybe once when I was really in a rush and in a different city. I thought I would be adventurous and try to find a new person, that was mistake number 1.

Mistake number 2 was trying to find this person in the area that I'm in now. Thank you, DC area for being so ridiculously overpriced and outrageous.

I found a place close by that seemed decent. The reviews online were good as well. When I got there, the woman, speaking very rough English, immediately started pawing at my hair and saying it was dry. My hair might be a lot of things... giant, frightening at times, but it's really not dry. She went on about how she didn't like how my highlights were done and that she'd do them better next time (for only $160, mi
nd you) by using different colors and "winter tones." Next time, next time, next time... that's all she kept saying, including "I'll do better next time." Well, don't do better next time. Please do better now while I'm here and paying!

Half way through the cut, one of the stylists noticed that someone had brought them free watches. So they all ran over to try on these wat
ches. My stylist kept coming back and forth asking me how I thought different ones look. What I really thought was that I'd be there entirely too long for entirely too little and that it was almost time for American Idol!

Maybe some women get there hair cut every month and a half like one of the stylists told me. Maybe when they go they like sitting around shooting the shit with the stylists who know all about how their husband never helps out around the house, etc. I am not one of these women. I get a haircut about every 6 months, maybe I a little more often if I have some place to be.

I don't expect to spend ONE HOUR AND A HALF getting JUST A HAIRCUT, not even color! I don't expect to spend almost $100 on JUST A HAIRCUT! I don't want the stylist crapping all over my hair which I think was decent before she started chopping it! She made my hair flat! How is that even possible on my hair?

At the very least, I think my old stylist could have done a better job and for a lot cheaper. When I spend that much money and time I expec
t something great, not something flat.

*Faces have been distorted to protect my innocence!

Thursday, February 22, 2007


Top 10 Law Firm Interview Questions

A friend forwarded me this posting on Craigslist.

It's called Top 10 Law Firm Interview Questions. 

I appreciate the sentiment. The beginning has a few funny lines, but after that it's just the same condescending asshole type stuff I came to know and hate last year at Kill-Me-Now University School of Law. 


What's On

DAMN!  I hit snooze just once or twice, I thought.  When I opened my eyes it was half an hour later... oops?  Going to the gym/eating right is really an enormous battle.  I stumble and fall hard and often.

Is anyone watching American Idol?  I can't resist, I really enjoy it.  The guys really crapped it up on Tuesday.  It was nice that most of the women sang really well. I'm predicting the idol will be a female this season.  I really like Stephanie right now; she was the first to sing last night and I thought sang awesome and was a great performer.

I hate the show that's on tonight - the results show.  I know it's set up the way it is for added drama, but it's pretty ridiculous.  That said, I'll probably watch it anyway.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007



Well, Monday morning I was exhausted, Tuesday morning I had to leave home earlier than usual, but this morning I finally dragged myself back to the gym.  I didn't want to write until I went back because I just felt like too much a lame failure!

I had a physical this week.  It was probably the first physical I've had since high school.  She was pretty good, but she got pretty snippy about a few things.  I'm 5'10", and she told me that my ideal healthy weight is between 115-149.  If I weighed 115, I'd be dead.  NO JOKE.  I'm not slender-boned either... I'm not Kate Moss... 115 isn't going to work.

She was also pretty pushy about getting the HPV vaccine, which I did not want.  I think that it's a great thing for some people, she told me that HPV is associated with 70% of cervical cancers.  I don't know if that number is exact, but the correlating is a little startling.  Wikipedia says:

Genital HPV infection is very common, with estimates suggesting that more than 50% of women will become infected with one or more of the sexually transmitted HPV types at some point during adulthood (Baseman and Koutsky, 2005).  Persistent infection with a subset of about a dozen so-called "high-risk" sexually transmitted HPVs, including types 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45 and 51 can lead to the development of cervical dyskaryosis, which may in turn lead to cancer of the cervix. HPV infection is a necessary factor in the development of nearly all cases of cervical cancer (Walboomers 1999).

I understand why she's pushy, she doesn't know me.  She probably has girls tell her that they're in long-term, monogamous relationships all the time (probably when they've only been dating for a month or two).  It has to be frustrating being a doctor and seeing lots of young women engaging in risky behaviors and not listening to warnings.  I GUESS I'll give her a pass.

Monday, February 19, 2007


Wicca in the News

Thursday, February 15, 2007




Tuesday night boyfriend took me to a little Italian restaurant near us that we'd never been to (not on Valentine's Day because he had to do something for work Wednesday night). Well he lucked out. We've had some snow, lots of sleet, and it all turned to ice. His work was canceled Wednesday (and it's still canceled today! WTF). Mine was not (and isn't today either), but lots of people didn't show up anyway. I had to cover for lots of people and I was incredibly busy the entire day. Boo!

When I got home from work he'd gotten me peach colored roses, a book I'd been wanting to read and some chocolates. I gave him the new Bloc Party CD, an iTunes gift card, and then began to make some FONDUE.

I think I'd said that I'd never made fondue before, but the recipes I found were simple enough. The scariest party was lighting the Sterno can to put in my centuries old fondue pot that I bought 2 summers ago at a yard sale.

The cheese turned out delicious! Who needs the Melting Pot!? I cut up a loaf of French bread, Pumpernickel, some golden delicious apples, and carrots. I used sharp cheddar for the cheese dip.

The chocolate turned out fine, not knock-your-socks-off fantastic, but pretty good. I was so full at that point from devouring over 8 oz. of cheese with boyfriend that I couldn't eat much of it. I used milk chocolate (his favorite) and we dipped bananas, strawberries, pound cake, brownies, and graham crackers in the pot.

Oh, did I mention that because boyfriend had a snow day yesterday and it was Valentine's Day that I decided I deserved a day off from the gym? Did I mention that we went out to dinner Tuesday and then stuffed ourselves with fondue (a dieter's worst nightmare) Wednesday night? I went to the gym this morning; it was hell on Earth. I mostly fast-walked because I couldn't stand running. I wish I could use the elliptical machine instead of the treadmill, but that machine is always the first to be taken.

I weighed myself right before my shower. Do you want to guess? No, of course you don't... because the results are too horrible to imagine! For the last 1.5 weeks of working out, of incorporating Slim Fast into every breakfast and lunch, I've GAINED TWO POUNDS!

I have lost absolutely nothing, my endurance isn't getting any better, and I'm really getting disappointed and losing my drive. I was having a hard time accepting that I hadn't lost any weight yet, but when I woke up this morning with two additional pounds, I just couldn't believe it. Maybe it's better to be a little plump around the edges. What do I have to do to lose weight!?!! Maybe now that all this Valentine's/chocolate/dining out business is done with I'll be fine and I should just chill out.... maybe...

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007


How Do People Do It?

Working out and waking up your body after 20-something years of slack and laziness is a difficult thing.

Days I've gone to the gym include last Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and yesterday and today. I wake up from my warm, comfortable bed at 6am and haul my ass down to the gym (looking a little rough, might I add) where I sweat, gasp for breath and pray that I can astrally project my consciousness out of my body for the next 20 minutes.

For all this, I only burn about 160-180 calories.

Check out what 200 calories looks like. It's a half a bagel or two dinner rolls! Hell, 160 calories is one can of soda (if I decided not to drink diet... which I wouldn't... but that's not the point!). The point is that it's really a little discouraging. My waking up early, sweating and panting can all be for nothing SO easily. How am I supposed to lose weight?

I guess that over time my body will get more capable of running for longer periods of time or increasing the resistance. It's possible that so far I've lost one pound, but it's really hard to see the small notches on the scale, so I could be imagining it.

I'd really just like to look damn hot in a bikini before I get old...

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Monday, February 12, 2007


Stay Away From the Light!

Well, this past Friday I was determined not to fall asleep at 7pm, wake up at 11pm and then wonder where the night went - and I succeeded!  Boyfriend and I went to the grocery store (we are so awesome), and I made a new recipe from my Kraft Food & Family magazine ( Super Smart Patty Melts), and then we played the Sopranos drinking game.  Basically we drank during any cursing, when someone loses their temper, when someone gets killed, or when naked women appeared on screen.  Man, it sounds so debaucherous when I say it like that... But, I'm not much of a drinker, so it really turned into a few drinks followed by the big sleep.  Maybe I didn't succeed in my goal after all, but I gave it a new twist?

The Patty Melts turned out okay.  My patties wouldn't stay together, so it became a bit of a loose meat sandwich.  If I made it over again, I'd probably add some peppers to the burger, more onions, better cheese, and definitely some more spices.  The Kraft recipes aren't the jazziest things, but it's good for someone like me who is slowly learning how to cook and doesn't want to buy 80,000 ingredients to make one meal.  The magazines use things that most people have just laying around the kitchen, and if not, then they're easy to find and inexpensive.

Saturday was a bit of a bummer.  I got my first migraine in 2.5 years.  I thought it was a phase that was over and done with, but apparently not.  Boyfriend and I were doing long overdue statistics problems while sitting on the bed.  I got up to get some water, turned off a light that was on in the living room, and went back to the bedroom.  When I sat down and looked at the book, I couldn't see it.  It was like I stared at a lamp too long and now all I saw was a big, bright splotch in the center of my vision.  I wasn't alarmed at first, I thought I had just looked at a light bulb and that it would pass.  A few minutes later it was still there and had become more defined.  The one line grew into a "C" shape, and it continued to flicker.  Incase you don't know anything about migraines, this is the 'aura phase.'  Wikipedia says,

Aura phase

"For the 20-30%[4][5] of migraineurs who suffer migraine with aura, the migraine aura is comprised of focal neurological phenomena that precede or accompany the attack. They appear gradually over 5 to 20 minutes and generally last less than 60 minutes. The headache phase of the migraine attack usually begins within 60 minutes of the end of the aura phase, but it is sometimes delayed up to several hours, and it can be missing entirely. Symptoms of migraine aura can be visual, sensory, or motor in nature.[6]

Visual aura is the most common of the neurological events. There is a disturbance of vision consisting usually of unformed flashes of white or rarely of multicolored lights (photopsia) or forma­tions of dazzling zigzag lines (scintillating scotoma; often arranged like the battlements of a castle, hence the alternative terms "fortification spectra" or "teichopsia"). Some patients complain of blurred or shimmering or cloudy vision, as though they were look­ing through thick or smoked glass, or, in some cases, tunnel vision. The somatosensory aura of migraine consists of digitolingual or cheiro-oral paresthesias, a feeling of pins-and-needles experienced in the hand and arm as well as in the ipsilateral nose-mouth area. Paresthesia migrate up the arm and then extend to involve the face, lips and tongue.

Other symptoms of the aura phase can include auditory or olfactory hallucinations, aphasia, vertigo, tingling or numbness of the face and extremities, and hypersensitivity to touch.

The diagnosis of migraine without aura, according to the International Headache Society, can be made according to the following criteria - 5 or more attacks, 4 hours to 3 days in duration 2 or more of - unilateral location, pulsating quality, moderate to severe pain, aggravation by or avoidance of routine physical activity and 1 or more accompanying symptoms - nausea and/or vomiting, photophobia, phonophobia ("5, 4, 3, 2, 1 criteria"). For migraine with aura, only two attacks are required to justify the diagnosis."

In essence, it sucks.  But, although I get the weird-ass aura that makes me think I'm going blind (yes, the first time I got one I called my boyfriend crying that I'd gone blind...), I DON'T get the searing, skull-smashing headache.  I get a lmoderate headache afterwards, some barf feeling and dizziness.  I do have to lay in bed for awhile, in the complete dark, preferably with no noise.  But it doesn't last for days, at least. 

So that was a bit of a disappointment.  My best guess on how it starts is that it's somehow related to light/dark contrasts, such as walking from a dark room to a bright one, seeing bright light out of the corner of my eye when in a dim setting, etc.  I don't think it's related to food.  The times I remember what I was doing before I got one include: sitting in the dark looking at my computer (this was before I had an LCD screen), driving at night, being on a boat with the bright sun reflecting off the waves, walking from my dimly lit dorm room to the hall shower with flourescent lighting, and waking up in a beach house with all the blinds open and light streaming in from all sides.

I've been to eye doctors about this (when I thought I was going blind and no one knew what was wrong with me, although the last eye doctor I saw about this was shocked that no one had known; he said it's a "classic migraine, DUH!"), but I've never been to a family physician/internal medicine doctor about it.  I don't want daily medicine since it only happens once in a while.  And I have a friend whose father is a neurologist and he once told his son, "My job is great!  People pay me $200/hour for me to tell them that modern medicine has no idea what causes migraines!"  So I figure I'll hold on to my money.

I bought a curtain rod at Target for the bedroom window.  Hopefully this will keep it a little more dim so that I don't have another migraine.  I'd like it to be another 2.5 years - AT LEAST.

Friday, February 09, 2007


The Fanciest Dinner I Will Ever Have

First, I can't figure out why I'm so shocked by Anna Nicole Smith's death! I had to keep refreshing the news websites just to make sure that it wasn't a hoax. It's wild!

But in other news, I was feeling like a celebrity this week. It was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary, and instead of going on a mini vacation they decided to go to one of the best places to eat in the world - The Inn at Little Washington.

Not only that, we didn't sit in the dining room with everyone else. They had reserved the best table in the house, the kitchen table! When they opened the doors for us that lead into the kitchen, all of the chefs were standing at attention until we were seated. The head chef came out to shake our hands and greet us. Gregorian chants were playing and bounced around the church-like ceiling. It really felt like walking into a sacred place, and the chefs were intense!

Describing it doesn't really do any good, because when I heard about it beforehand I still didn't get it. Pictures won't do it justice, either... but I have to post them (just a sample... There were four courses between six people and I took photos of everything). It was an enchanting night. It probably also completely counteracted my hard work at the gym Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday morning as well as my light eating habits. But it was a once in a lifetime opportunity (no, it really was, the kitchen table alone cost $300... not including any food or drink).
The front of the Inn.

My Carpaccio of Herb Crusted Baby Lamb with Tabouli and Rosemary Mustard. I ate quite a few baby animals... don't judge! Once in a lifetime opportunity!!

My Macaroni and Cheese with Virginia Ham and White Truffles - very awesome!

Painter's Palette of Homemade Sorbets - beautiful!

My Dessert - Chocolate Mint Fantasy: Mint Ice Cream Festooned with Chocolate Streamers

The sitting area where we waited before the kitchen was ready for us.

And, what my boyfriend described as - awesomely creepy Rococo monkey murals.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Good news for people who love good news

I've mentioned before that I was in a co-ed service fraternity in college. In this group you have big brothers and sisters (referred to simply as "bigs") who act as mentors and help welcome you (this service fraternity is very different from a social fraternity, we had parties and social events... but it really wasn't Animal House).

I had three bigs, one of them I clicked with particularly well. She's the one who inspired me to go to law school and follow in her footsteps (I don't hold a grudge!). She got me my first internship. And a few times when I've visited family up north I made it a point to visit her as well.

Yesterday she got engaged! She's been dating her now fiance for a couple of years; he was also a member of the same service fraternity but he graduated even a few more years before I even got there. My friend just graduated from law school in May, and her new fiance graduated from Harvard law one or two years ago... they're so fancy I could puke!

But really, I'm very excited because while I've known people who have gotten married, people I've been friends with at different times, this is the first time for me that someone I would call a good friend is getting married.

She told me once before that she didn't want to get married or have kids, so hopefully he didn't use some sort of mind-altering drug on her. I'm psyched for them, and I really hope I get an invite to the wedding!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


Party Cake

So scrolling through my blog this morning, I noticed that THE HELL WITH THAT began in February 2006.  It's been about one year of blogging (give or take a few days, I didn't go far enough to look up the actual date this began).  This blog helped me work out many of the concerns I was having about being in law school.  It gave me a place to project.

I'd say it's been an interesting year.  Some of the biggest decisions/problems of my life occurred in this year.  Aside from law school (which I now rarely think about and never miss),

I moved in with my boyfriend,
I'm thankful for this every day.  Living together is great.  We're not kids any more.  He doesn't have to drive me home at night and watch me unlock the door to make sure I got in okay.  We don't have to say goodbye.  I can make him dinner, we can take care of eachother.  We're working on our future.

One of my best friends got very sick,
I don't remember if it was the end of May or in June when they found out.  Since then there have been a number of treatments, and I really thought we were out of the woods.  Unfortunately it's not over yet and some different, more dangerous, treatments are going to be used.  I'm not going to say more for obvious privacy concerns, but I can't help mentioning that it's on my mind frequently. 

Peace was made with an old friend,
I can't say "I made peace with an old friend" because I really had little to do with it.  Maybe you remember me mentioning that my name had appeared on someone's blog, I grew irritated about it and I emailed them to have it removed (after we hadn't spoken in about seven years).  To my extreme surprise, he responded with explanations and apologies for why things turned so sour and cold.  When you can actually get closure on the end of a relationship instead of just dirty looks and "we grew apart," it's pretty nice.  I feel like I can finally put all those feelings to bed.  I don't have to get a little anxious when I drive by his house, I don't have to worry that he's still writing angry songs and blog entries and posting them on the internet, and I don't have to be afraid if I run into him at a restaurant or the movies because he won't go nuts in my face. 

I look and listen,
Instead of repeating the same mistakes I made on entering law school (not listening to myself, clinging to a plan just because it's a plan, etc.), I've actually explored a few career options and even tried out a few things.  I'm looking before I leap; it's new.

I'm standing up,
Instead of hiding my head in the sand with my family issues, I'm trying to find answers, resolutions, and maybe even eventually let it all go.

and, I'm good.
If much of my life was made up of feeling sorry for myself, feeling guilty, wanting to fit in, trying out so many different images, thinking I understood everything, and apologizing for myself, then I'm happy to say that I'm finally "over it."  Maybe not 100%, but then I'd go with at least 99%.  If I've made bad choices, then I've also made some excellent ones.  If I'm not perfect, then I'm a hell of a lot better than many of the ways I could have turned out.  In my perfect world, there are a few other things I'd like to be doing that I'm not (studying for the GRE, reading more, art classes), but I've got time.  And, I'm happy.

Monday, February 05, 2007


'The Office' Miis

Holy crap!  These 'The Office' Miis for Nintendo Wii are incredible!  Many of them look just like 'The Office' cast.

My favorites are Jim, Kevin and Dwight!

Being a kid

Saturday afternoon boyfriend and I made a quick trip home for a friend's birthday.  Turns out he was having a family dinner that night, so we couldn't see him for a little while.  But, boyfriend's parents were having some family friends over for dinner and game night. 

It's always funny to watch parents get hammered.  Mine don't really drink, but his parents sure are fun when they're on the juice. The family friends brought over their kids (1 freshman in college, 1 sophomore in high school, and the sophomore in high school's best friend).  Boyfriend and I were put at the "kid's table," which was slightly awkward. 

It got me thinking about raising kids.  Such small things can have huge influences on kids.  For example, the way my parents were made me have very low self-esteem and act out, but I could only act out so much because of how strict they were (early curfew, no riding in other people's cars, etc).  A girl I was good friends with back in the day, Lauren, had parents that were very manipulative and took religion too far.  But they didn't keep very good track of her, so she was always going downtown, hanging out with older men, etc.  Any small shift could have dramatically change the choices she and I made.

These family friends are middle class, one is a high school teacher and the other does something with finance, but their kids (both boys) made me sad.  They're in a punk stage... dyed hair, occasional makeup, making comments about how depressed they are, and not doing anything unless it has to do with art or music.  The son still in high school has failed two core courses and is repeating them. And the son who is trying to get into art school pulled out a life drawing that really wasn't at the level it needs to be.

I'm not trying to crap on anyone's parenting abilities (I haven't been there yet so I have no idea what it's like), but I'm baffled as to how these parents can have kids who are so unmotivated to the point of failing some important high school classes, especially since one of them is a teacher.  They joked about how all he does is skateboard, but if his grades and morale are that bad – shouldn't the skateboarding be at a minimum? 

Of course I know nothing about the situation aside from what I saw that evening, and I'm not saying I could do a better job with these kids.  It just got me thinking about how I hope I will be a good parent who fosters some interest in the world in my kids.  At least I hope that my children are good people (kind, compassionate, and caring about others). 

It's hard being a kid.  I remember having a chip on my shoulder, thinking no one in the world understood me, and acting in sometimes pretty self-destructive ways.  The world does seem different through adult eyes.  For one thing, I enjoyed eating my asparagus during the dinner!  I'm not concerned with seeming cool, something that consumed me and most other kids during middle and high school.. maybe even some college.  I hope that these kids find out that having the image they're going for isn't the most important thing in the entire world.  It's not even close.

Thursday, February 01, 2007


I'd Do Anything For A Free T-shirt

Yesterday was pretty sweet.  I saw a friend's google talk message read, "free t-shirts, who's in?"

Now, if you know me, you know I love free t-shirts.  My casual wardrobe consists mostly of 5k t-shirts from college (keep in mind, I have never run a 5k).  So I jumped at this message.

She forwarded me an email saying that the first 200 people to order a burrito at Chipotle after 3pm would get a free t-shirt.  I forwarded it to a bunch of friends, including one of my more skeptical friends.  She didn't believe that it could be all the Chipotles.  She thought, maybe just one or two.  She actually called Chipotle to confirm!

Now, I had already gone over a bit on my lunch break since an out of town friend came by to visit.  But, sometimes sacrifices must be made.  And fortuitously, my boss had a meeting in another city at 3pm.

I sat on the window ledge and watched until I saw his car go around the corner.  Then I recruited as many co-workers as I could to journey down the street to Chipotle.  We didn't get the burritos we wanted exactly...

Me: "Can I have refried beans?"
Chipotle employee: "Yes." 
Me: "So, can I have refried beans?" 
CE: "Yes, do you want these? (holding the spoon to the black beans)" 
Me: "No, refried beans." 
CE: "You want these? (still in the black beans)" 
Me: "fine..... (defeated)."

#@*$@*!!! It's cool, I march on.

The back of the t-shirt says, "I'd do anything for a burrito."  It lies.  I wouldn't actually do much for a burrito.  I like burritos a lot (mostly ones with refried beans...), but free t-shirts have a special place in my heart.