If someone had told me this story, I'd probably think they were lying.

My weekend was pretty absurd.  I'm not sure of a better word for it!  It was almost like college again.

Saturday night boyfriend and I had plans to go to Ed's, a high school friend who now lives in the area and was having a Cinco de Mayo cookout.  On Friday night, two other high school friends who don't live around here decided to come up and go also.  They got here early Saturday afternoon to go first to a Crawfish Festival in Alexandria, VA; $30 for all you can eat crawfish and all you can drink beer.  Boyfriend and I didn't go ($30 is a bit steep for us, plus the weather looked questionable), but our friends were going to come back to our place after the festival and before the cookout so that we could all go over together.

From the time they left the festival until they got to our apartment, it took about two hours.  I'm not sure what they were doing or where they were, but they already pretty drunk when they got to our apartment.  So by the time we got to the cookout things were already interesting.

Now, you should probably understand that the host of the cookout, Ed, is a pretty nice guy.  In high school he was an ass, prone to a misanthrope attitude and irritable outbursts.  I don't know how he did it, but he's mellowed out a LOT.  Still, his relationship to the rest of us basically consists of us poking fun at him... extreme fun.  So, with friends who had been drinking all day, it probably won't surprise you that most of the evening consisted of jokes that would make most people blush.

But there were some other characters at the party.  When we first walked into the apartment the first thing I heard was a very large girl railing about people under 25 getting married.  She said, "Ok, raise your hand here if you're under 25 and engaged or married... I mean, I just don't get it.  It's, like, everyone!"

Clearly what she meant was, "I'm not even in a serious relationship yet.  I'm very insecure, so I'm going to make other people feel like what they're doing is wrong to make myself feel better."  I took a quick mental note to avoid this person.

Unfortunately avoiding her wasn't possible.  I was hanging out with "the guys" on the balcony, when she finally found us.  She asked if any of the guys there were single, because she just had to hook up with someone tonight.  The host had promised her single guys were going to be there, and she was just soooo depressed that she hadn't found any.   This girl then asked my boyfriend if he wanted to make out!

My guy friends, smart people that they are, all quickly exited the balcony... but they left boyfriend and I out there with no easy escape!  Boyfriend explained he was dating me.  She looked crestfallen, but that didn't stop her.  She said, "Am I that unattractive?"  She repeatedly asked us both several times, then launched into, "I thought guys liked big boobs... I have big boobs!"  She rubbed them for us, then turned back to, "Am I that unattractive?" and made more requests to make out.  Finally she decided, "I need to show off more cleavage," and she pulled her already low shirt down much lower.... too low.

Thank the Gods, the girl finally realized she didn't have her cell phone in her purse, so she went back into the apartment.  Boyfriend and I just stared dumbly at eachother for 30 seconds, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.  He felt sorry for her, obviously she had some SERIOUS self-esteem issues, but I was a little less sympathetic.  Not that I felt threatened by this girl at all, but when someone repeatedly asks your boyfriend to make out, feels herself up and pulls her shirt down low, I think it just makes you want to get the hell out of there. 

We didn't really see her again that night; we heard later that she was passed out in the host's bedroom.   We tried to be nice to the rest of the guests, but I think the bizarre events from earlier had put us in a weird state.  My one friend's jokes about the host also grew, and I don't think any of the other guests really 'got it.'  It probably also didn't help that that friend was much more drunk then anyone else there and ended up breaking his pants so that he had to walk around with his zipper down, looking even more like a disheveled homeless person then he already did.  I finally found him in the kitchen stealing beers from the fridge and hiding them in his pants. 

I took that as a sign it was probably time to go, and as that friend was shutting the door he said, "Fuck you, Ed!" (the host).   He told us that saying "fuck you" was just his way of saying "bye," and that Ed obviously knew that.  Well, I don't think the other guests knew it.  And we had probably just sealed our fate as the "sketchy people" at the party.  I'd never been with the sketchy group at a party before... I was certainly an experience.  Of course, I thought the "I have to hook up tonight" girl was more sketchy, but I don't know if everyone was privy to the same great conversation with her that I had.

The two friends who came up for the cookout wound up crashing at our apartment.  I don't know what possessed us to do this, but we played a drinking game before bed.  I'm not sure if we got through it all because everyone was rolling around the floor towards the end.  I woke up (even though I didn't know I had fallen asleep) around 3:30am, passed out on the couch with one of the guys asleep on the other end of the couch and the other one asleep next to us on the floor.  Boyfriend had somehow already dragged himself to the bedroom.

The next day, even though we told them that we had a lot of work to do on Sunday, we could not get them to leave the house.  We tried everything, but they just wouldn't go... they were probably still drunk and they didn't leave until 5pm.  Although I love and treasure their ridiculous company, we REALLY did have things to do.  Most importantly, our Statistics final is this coming weekend and we still have three chapters we haven't done.... oops?  All in all, nothing beats high school friends.  We all have known eachother for so long, back through all our strange and awkward phases.  Everytime I hang out with these people is a great time and I hope it keeps up forever. 

One of the guys called Ed early Sunday evening to check in.  It looks like we may not always be remembered as the sketchy guests, because apparently one of the girls at the party had a panic attack at 2am after we had already left.  He didn't say who it was, my bet is probably unfortunately on the hook up girl...