Like Drinking Poison, Like Eating Glass

Perhaps paying homage to my 'ol history major, I like to think about the past. I'm thinking about early in America's history... the Manifest Destiny days... when the world seem uncharted and infinite (and, of course, ours for the taking).

What did people think about in the moments before they fell asleep? How about when they were alone? Now, even when I'm supposed to be doing one thing, I am still doing 18 other things at the same time. What would be Civil Procedure class without AIM? What is brushing my teeth without reading The New York Times and checking Gmail? What is driving without satellite radio and cell phones?

We never stop moving anymore. Everything is about saving time... throwing a Lean Cuisine in the microwave so that we can fit in a few loads of laundry and American Idol. Laundry used to be a huge ordeal... now we get upset just having to sort whites and colors and push a button.

The internet... words... these things keep me feeling connected with people. Emily Dickinson rarely left the house and people called her a recluse. But today you don't even need to leave the house. Are these connections with people real, or does the internet give us a false sense of security with someone's identity... even someone that we are very close with? What did Emily Dickinson think about all day? Sure, she read constantly, but did it even make sense if she wasn't experiencing anything? Do we even know?

Today the words are everywhere. So much so that we don't even think before we speak. We say the first thing that pops into our mind, not worrying about how it sounds or how someone might interpret it. Today a salesperson gave me nothing but attitude; did she even realize what she was saying? Or were we just having an IM conversation... totally impersonal, no connection, I'll never see you again.

Job interviews praise people with a firm handshake and eye contact. This is almost all it takes to make an impression. Try it and you'll be amazed. Really look at someone, connect with someone. Maybe I can't blame the internet (Emily Dickinson may not have had a firm handshake either, but I bet she was tough stuff), but I can't help thinking that we have lost the ability to connect with human beings. To do that we need the bright glow of a keyboard and a screen... a 'WWW DOT' preceding the sentence ...a google toolbar to search & rescue information we don't know and insert a little quip or double check our facts.

A friend in school's laptop screen cracked, and she will be without a computer for a few weeks. At the end of today, her first full day without the laptop, she said, "I feel so free! But, I was really bored." That about sums it up. When I'm with someone I love and we're out having a good time, I never even for a second wish I was at the computer. Yet during classes or alone at night I am more than glued to it. Do we need it? It keeps me sane by maintaining connections with people that I can't have while so far away. But it's not a free gift; it takes something away from me too.

Quod me nutrit me destruit
(an apt quote... and also one of Angelina Jolie's tattoos... the internet told me so...)