Jedi Mind Tricks and the Road Away from Law

Someone who is passive-aggressive will typically not confront others directly about problems, but instead will attempt to undermine their confidence or their success through comments and actions which, if challenged, can be explained away innocently so as not to place blame on the passive-aggressive person.

My father has never been one to come right out and say that anything is wrong, a stark contrast from my overcritical, hypersensitive mother. He wages his wars silently, yet occasionally inserting the subtle jab.

When I was making plans to live with my boyfriend, he skulked around but said nothing. Finally on the day that I signed a lease he encouraged me to sit down and then, after several moments of silence, said, "So you're getting married soon, right?"

No, he does not come out and say how he feels. But his feelings are painfully obvious to anyone who knows him. My brother and I, surprised to find something that we actually agree on, call this manuever the "Jedi Mind Trick."

In the Star Wars universe, the Jedi mind trick is a Force power. Jedi who know the power can, by using the Force, influence the actions of other "weak-minded" sentient beings.

The usual appearance of this ability is a wave of the hand accompanied by a verbal suggestion (e.g. "These aren't the droids you're looking for"); if the trick is successful the victim will reply with a statement of the suggestion ("These aren't the droids we're looking for") and will immediately think or do whatever the Jedi had intended from the statement.

When my father uses this method, it is unfortunately very successful.

His latest burst of passive-aggressive behavior is to let me know how upset he is that I have left law school. He'll make subtle comments here and there, off-handedly saying that he doesn't think I will be able to find a job or something about how difficult it will be to support myself. He has made it very clear that he will not be contributing any money whatsoever to this "fall from grace."

This week his method is to e-mail me endless articles from his favorite publication, the Wall Street Journal's Opinion Journals. I have received:

The 2006 Summer Associate Diary
Each summer law students get a taste of law-firm life in summer associate programs, where wining and dining is as prevalent as legal research. The Wall Street Journal Online's Summer Associate Diary, updated weekly, tracks the journeys of four law-firm newbies.

Logging in Long Hours In a Bid to Get Ahead
June 28, 2006
Laya Sleiman knew in law school that she wanted to work at a big, corporate law firm in New York when she graduated. But the 27-year-old, now a first- year associate, had no illusions about what it would take to get ahead at a prestigious firm once she arrived.

Yes, articles on young attorneys. Judging from past experience, I believe that this is an attempt to get me to feel guilty and possible even reassess going back. I already know that he thinks I would have been fine had I attended a different law school. Perhaps he's right. But you have to play the cards you're dealt, don't you think?