Q: OMG When are you getting married?!
A: OMG, Piss Off!
I have a good friend who has been dating her boyfriend for quite some time. She has been waiting patiently to be proposed to, and she gets pretty pissed off when people ask her some variation of, "When are you getting married?" or "Why aren't you married yet?"
I could see how these questions would be annoying, but it wasn't until I graduated from college that I fully understood it. And things have intensified recently.
For now that I have dropped out of law school, my parents, never without an agenda of their own, have decided that since I won't be a budding attorney I should instead jump at the chance to be a wife, homemaker, and mother.
Everytime I go home, my father asks, "So when are you getting married?" My mother has started buying Martha Stewart Weddings magazines. In fact, she stuffed it into my suitcase as I was leaving home last weekend. My boyfriend now probably thinks I'm trying to "hint" at something. Thanks, mom. I'm sure that this won't be the last time; she's decided to get a subscription.
When the parents aren't hard at work, my own friends have taken to asking wedding questions.
over-excited friend (9:49:46 PM): when are you getting married?
me (9:50:28 PM): we'll see
over-excited friend (9:50:55 PM): hehehe please let me know if you do hehe
over-excited friend (9:51:02 PM): i want to know!!
me (9:51:14 PM): don't worry, i'm sure you'll know
Yes, it's hard to escape the constant onslaught of questions. I can't imagine what it's like for single woman. I'm sure the questions for them are even worse, "When are you going to find a man?" or "Why haven't you found a man yet?" I think if I had to deal with those questions, things would get a little ugly.
Isn't it great that a woman's life revolves so much around finding, securing, and tying down a man? I read someone's blog the other day where they were complaining about feminists, saying that there's no inequality between men and woman and she doesn't know what women were always whining about. She followed the statement with an anecdote about why women are stupid.
I'm not so sure. In high school I complained a lot about inequalities between men and women. It tapered off at the end of high school and during college. I'm not sure why, I guess that I just didn't feel so angry anymore. But as I get older, those angry feelings come back to me more and more. In fact, yesterday I was watching the news and I realized that you never see an older woman as an anchor(wo)man. Old anchormen are all over the place, but what do they do with the older women? When they reach a certain age do they simply get fired or forced to retire? It's nice that once we lose our looks no one wants to hear us speak anymore.
Anyway, Internet, just relax. I'm sure that when I get engaged (and don't start counting down the days) you'll be (one of) the first to know.
3 Comments:
Amen sister! (literally). And yes, in fact that is what happens to anchorwomen..and stewardesses and many other occupations. And those that don't have an "expiration date" don't get far b/c of the glass ceiling. A good answer to the question of upcoming nuptials (albeit sarcastic) is "When you read it in the Sunday paper"
During my formative years, my father would say such things to me as, "Any man that asks you to marry him, take his offer; its the only one you'll get." Or, "I sent you to college so you could get a secretary's job and find someone to marry." Or, "You are so dumb and fat no man will ever marry you."
Once I turned 21, my Grandmother would ask me if I was going to marry whomever I was dating. I would tell her yes, only to keep her quiet. Unfortunately, I did marry someone just to get out of the house. Bad idea.
Then, after that divorce, I met someone immediately and my so-called-friends wanted to know when we were getting married. My father, "Well, you couldn't hold on to the first one, maybe you can keep this one a little longer."
Looking back on it all, I realized I believed my father and grandparents - every time you date someone (a) be thankful and (b) marry him.
So sad that society expects women to marry and men to play the field.
Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
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