Being a kid

Saturday afternoon boyfriend and I made a quick trip home for a friend's birthday.  Turns out he was having a family dinner that night, so we couldn't see him for a little while.  But, boyfriend's parents were having some family friends over for dinner and game night. 

It's always funny to watch parents get hammered.  Mine don't really drink, but his parents sure are fun when they're on the juice. The family friends brought over their kids (1 freshman in college, 1 sophomore in high school, and the sophomore in high school's best friend).  Boyfriend and I were put at the "kid's table," which was slightly awkward. 

It got me thinking about raising kids.  Such small things can have huge influences on kids.  For example, the way my parents were made me have very low self-esteem and act out, but I could only act out so much because of how strict they were (early curfew, no riding in other people's cars, etc).  A girl I was good friends with back in the day, Lauren, had parents that were very manipulative and took religion too far.  But they didn't keep very good track of her, so she was always going downtown, hanging out with older men, etc.  Any small shift could have dramatically change the choices she and I made.

These family friends are middle class, one is a high school teacher and the other does something with finance, but their kids (both boys) made me sad.  They're in a punk stage... dyed hair, occasional makeup, making comments about how depressed they are, and not doing anything unless it has to do with art or music.  The son still in high school has failed two core courses and is repeating them. And the son who is trying to get into art school pulled out a life drawing that really wasn't at the level it needs to be.

I'm not trying to crap on anyone's parenting abilities (I haven't been there yet so I have no idea what it's like), but I'm baffled as to how these parents can have kids who are so unmotivated to the point of failing some important high school classes, especially since one of them is a teacher.  They joked about how all he does is skateboard, but if his grades and morale are that bad – shouldn't the skateboarding be at a minimum? 

Of course I know nothing about the situation aside from what I saw that evening, and I'm not saying I could do a better job with these kids.  It just got me thinking about how I hope I will be a good parent who fosters some interest in the world in my kids.  At least I hope that my children are good people (kind, compassionate, and caring about others). 

It's hard being a kid.  I remember having a chip on my shoulder, thinking no one in the world understood me, and acting in sometimes pretty self-destructive ways.  The world does seem different through adult eyes.  For one thing, I enjoyed eating my asparagus during the dinner!  I'm not concerned with seeming cool, something that consumed me and most other kids during middle and high school.. maybe even some college.  I hope that these kids find out that having the image they're going for isn't the most important thing in the entire world.  It's not even close.