Cooling

Hello, blog land.  I needed a little cool-down period, but I have missed you. 

The last week or week and a half has been filled with some of the most intense ups and downs I've had in... ever? 

For starters, two very good friends of mine got engaged (two separate couples, not two friends getting engaged to eachother).  Both couples are very happy together, and it's going to be an exciting year of planning.  For one of the weddings, I've been asked to be a bridesmaid!  I've never been part of a wedding party before, so I'm looking forward to it! 

A day or two later we had to put Max down.

A day or two after that, another one of my loans from law school kicked into repayment.  If I follow the payment plan that this company suggested, they'll be making a $10,000 profit!  So, I need to try to pay it back early... very early because the interest rate can change wildly!  I've been trying to figure out how big of a check I can cut for them now without going completely broke.

And speaking of crippling debt, I for some reason decided this was a great time to buy a Wii.  Boyfriend and I discussed it, and we're going to split the cost and consider this our anniversary present to one another (our anniversary is next month).  Even though it's been out for months, I still had to wake up bright and early to go stand in line outside Target before it opened on Sunday.  I was the first one in line!  Target had 33 Wii's, and there were about 20 people in line.  So my waking up wasn't entirely necessary.  But, I had fun... and it builds character, right?

Saturday evening my parents wanted to get dinner together.  Boyfriends parents also wanted to have dinner with him.  So we decided why don't we all just go out to dinner together!  This turned out to be, what I should have expected, an awkward time.  My conservative, socially awkward parents and his liberal, too-much-information, social butterfly parents just don't quite mix.  They've known eachother a long time, but you wouldn't guess it by how they act.  Boyfriend described dinner as, "a scene from Meet the Fockers."

Boyfriend's mother was acting a little squirrely, and I noticed she had dressed up.  I caught her whispering to her daughter (boyfriend's sister) a few times.  At one point, we all went outside to check out the lunar eclipse while his mom and my mom waited inside.  When we went back into the restaurant I knew something was up, my mom had "wedding face" on.

After dinner my parents went home, and boyfriend and I went back to his house with his parents.  His mom couldn't hold it in any longer, she thought the joint dinner was to announce our engagement.  She had even brought her camera.  Apparently when I walked into the restaurant, my coat was over my left hand, as well.  Then when she saw I was only wearing a tiny ring on that finger, she decided it must have been a promise ring.  When we finally convinced her nothing of the sort was going on she said, "Well, you'll find your way."

What does that mean?  Are we lost?  Should we be flogging and punishing ourselves for 'taking too long?'  This situation made me feel pretty bad.  There's so much spazzing and blabla over the question of when are boyfriend and I getting engaged, I just wish we could have some peace.

And the last thing worth mentioning, yesterday I had lunch at Chili's with a friend.  We thought we recognized someone from high school working there.  Well, I knew it was him but I didn't say anything.  I really beat myself up about that later.  Why didn't I just say something?  The whole car ride back to the DC area I kept wondering if maybe I'm becoming a jerk lately.  Maybe even a bitch?  I get carried away sometimes talking about people, I let my emotions go, and even though I expect people to treat me with an open mind and common courtesy, maybe I don't always do the same.  I could be getting selfish; I haven't done any service in such a long time. 

I expect a lot more from myself.  I don't want to be the snarky, biting person that I've seen hanging around lately.  I want to radiate warmth, and I apologize to everyone. 

It's so scary that it's March already.  I'm not closer to taking the GRE, something I thought I would have surely done by now.  I'm falling behind in my online statistics course.  I am just not where I need to be, but hopefully I will get close.