Feminism vs. Fruit Salad

Have you ever been shocked to learn something new about yourself? I think I shock myself constantly; but this is probably because I have irrationally dismissed so many things before ever giving them a chance!

A few months ago, upon the suggestion of a friend, I travelled back to my alma mater to take the Strong Interest Inventory test. I was hoping the test would give me some perspective on what the hell I'm doing with my life. At that time I was at the point where I really felt that being a lawyer was not the best fit for me, but I needed some validation from a more official source.

The test scores your answers in relation to other people who have taken the test, and it matches your interests with other's interests who enjoy their chosen career. And I did find out some interesting things.

I have always thought of myself as a loner, but the test revealed that I actually prefer working in groups. I think the catch there is that I prefer working with warm, down-to-earth people who I am friends with; engaging in small talk and forcing conversation absolutely drains me. If that sounds like you too, welcome to being an introvert. I always thought introvert meant extremely shy or incapable of being outgoing - but I was wrong! Read this interesting article if you would like to learn about the new introvert!

The SII test also listed 'Culinary Arts' as my highest interest. My first thought was, "WTF, a cook?!" But the counselor assured me that this meant I just enjoy nuturing people, such as having a bunch of close friends over and cooking for them... teaching people, engaging, comforting.

Since then, I have thought a lot about what nurturing means. I have learned to look at myself more honestly, and through my own eyes. I am very attracted to nurturing professions. I think I need something that really engages with people; I have to make contact. I'm not so sure that I could pull off being a cook because I really know so little about it. But, that could be me dismissing things before giving them a chance again. I was just so shocked tonight that I made my first fruit salad!

I know that making a fruit salad sounds like the easiest, lamest thing a person could be excited about making, but it made me feel great. I had never actually cut a cantaloupe before. The only thing I'm fairly experienced in is baking.

Sometimes I think that feminism has ruined me. I've never been an angry, Bikini Kill loving feminist, but I used to have a lot of incorrect ideas about feminism. For example, I was completely opposed to having kids for years. Of course this was for a multitude of reasons, but one of the main reasons was that I thought I would have to give up my hobbies, interests, sexuality, career plans, etc. and devote my entire life to maintaining a family. I also rolled my eyes when my mom would suggest that I help her in the kitchen. Babies + Kitchen = The Man Keeping Us Down, right? What if I got pleasure from having a family, cooking, or even -gasp- cleaning? Where do women who take pleasure from acting in traditional women's roles fit in when they also maintain separate passions and goals?

I have to think that this must be a concern among most women. Some evidence for this might be that more and more celebrities are opting to be mothers. I use the phrase "be mothers" instead of "have kids" on purpose. It seems, although who really knows for sure, that more female celebrities are starting to enjoy being mothers and take active parenting roles. Okay, so that's what their publicists say. At the very least, celebrities don't necessarily jump the shark right after they have kids. Unless you're Britney Spears, that is.

But also, so-called 'Mommy Bloggers' seem to be working towards reinventing what it means to be a mom. Blogs like this, this and this somehow manage to combine a talent and love of writing while creating an honest internet scrap book for their kids. Women don't just fall into a black hole when they get married and have kids... they're so strong and inspiring.

Thinking about the future thrills me. It's so uncertain, but for once I'm noticing the opportunities that this new freedom presents instead of only looking down at how far I have to fall. I hope the coming years are filled with finding a 'nurturing' career path and making fruit salad. Then maybe a little further down the road, learning how to balance and embrace feminist notions with family life.