Survival Mode... but this isn't practice, this is the game

I can't link to this person's entry... so copy and paste it is, because it completely sums up how I have felt the last 6 months. Also, she just has an extremely well designed blog. It looks like a sketch book.

Panic
19 April 2006

Sometimes I take a step back from life and I realise that I've been running in Survival Mode.

Doing as little as possible to get through each day.
Holding back. Hesitating. Preserving.
Waiting for something. Don't know what.
Just SOMETHING.

The days pass. The seasons change. The years slip away.
And you are no closer to your dreams. No closer to the kind of person you wanted to be.

And that tragic word. Regret. That word you're not supposed to use these days.

Yet it's there.
It eats and consumes your heart.
Body panics. Mind is paralysed.
Don't know what to do.

So you continue to wait.