When Impending Doom Isn't Doom At All

My boss came into my office yesterday, shut the door and asked, "Can we talk?"

If my life was a play, the soliloquy would have gone like this, "shitshitshit I'm getting fired! I knew I shouldn't have been reading Pink is the New Blog at work! I knew that dream I had about my company being able to read my Google Talk messages felt real! And what about that time I wouldn't stay late on Friday because I had plans to be somewhere? He's just been waiting for the perfect time to corner me when I'm not expecting it! He waited until I had finished my special projects and now I'll get the axe!!"

So, basically a complete freak out.

But despite my fears, things actually turned out quite differently. I didn't catch a lot of what he said because I was a little wrapped up in my own (stupid) panic. I did hear that even though my probationary period isn't due to be over yet, he doesn't think it's necessary to wait any longer. All my benefits officially kick in ASAP, and I got a raise!

This is the part where I should have crossed stage left, firmly shaken the man's hand and said, "thank you." Instead I gave a, "uhhummmThank you!uhhh ummmduhhduhh." I was more than a little surprised and dumbfounded.

But afterwards I felt very Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic:

I'm the king of the woooorld!!! WOoooOOo!