Bitching, Moaning

Today is my last day in the office until Wednesday.  Wooooo!

Tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday I will still be doing work related things outside of the office... but it's still out of the office.  I took off on Monday and Tuesday because I'm supposed to go to the beach with some friends from college.

You wouldn't think it would be so difficult to get a small group of people together, but let me tell you something, it is!  Everyone except for boyfriend and I are either leaving or just getting back from another country.  Most of these people are in graduate school now, where do they get this kind of money?  I think they think that I must have money because I'm out of school and working, but the truth is that my net worth could make a person CRY!

First, there is the obvious law school debt.  Go on and look up how much it costs to attend law school.  Now, think about that sum of money to attend for just one year... with no law degree, no legal credibility, nothing.  Basically think of flushing all that cash down the toilet.

Next, I live in the DC area.  I know people always bitch and moan about how expensive it is to live in DC, but it really is.  My teeny one bedroom is more expensive than my parent's mortgage on their house.  Yes, I'm splitting it with boyfriend, but even after that it's still outrageous.

Plus I'm a part-time student.  I never knew before how expensive science textbooks are.  I never wanted to know.
Plus boyfriend and I are going to Disney World; what are we thinking?

Last, I was a goddamned liberal arts major!  Sure, my parents tried to warn me.  They said, "what are you going to do with a history degree?"  They suggested law school, med school, who knows what school... the point is that I didn't listen.  I could be a female engineer and have companies drooling over me and chucking money at me, instead I'm a B.A.  It should be something more like W.L. - We Lied [we said this degree was versatile, but you're still not very competitive and won't get paid much], or more simply Y.L. - You Lose [SUCKER].

We're supposed to check in to our hotel at the beach Saturday night, yet no reservations have been made.  Why?  Because I'm being passive aggressive; I knew everyone would just assume that either myself or boyfriend would do it.  Okay, two of them have legitimate excuses, but the other one?  Don't even get me started... even though I'm clearly already started.

So, let's get to the heart of the issue.  I think that I'm... hurt.  Sometimes I feel that some of my college friends don't really try that hard to keep in touch, that they don't really care about me, that they only want to talk about their successes, that they won't connect with me on a 'real' level like we used to, and that they won't put themselves out at all or do anything that inconveniences them in the slightest.

Maybe it's harsh, but sometimes you need to vent, right? 

It gets old feeling like I'm always writing the first email, making the first call, offering encouragement on a current worry, or making the damn hotel reservation.  If I disappeared, "would anybody even notice, would anybody even care?"  To quote my favorite Buffy episode (ie, the musical - Once more with Feeling ).

I'll quit wallowing and being overly dramatic for now, but don't worry... I'm sure it'll come back at some point.