Out of the Office

Sorry, gang. Out of the office today with a sore throat and fever.

All night I rolled around with sweats and chills. I feel absolutely awful.

Some More Weekend Links

What do 300 Calorie Meals Look Like?

and

Female Body Shape in the 20th Century.

Another thing for my priority list...

I know I've said it before, but I just have to make reading the advanced manual for my Canon PowerShot a priority.

I was looking through some Flickr photos belonging to the glass doorknob, and her sweet treats set is just awesome. Of course it doesn't hurt that I'd like to eat just about everything she has taken a picture of, but I really love the lighting, depth, etc. in her shots.

And now I have hope; Flickr says the camera used to take the photos was a Canon PowerShot S500, which doesn't seem that different from my A540.

I just need to find some time (har har).

Very Interesting, Very Bizarre

Street installations around DC, NY, London...

Cat Fight

So, boyfriend and I have been living together in our tiny apartment for just about nine months.  It's a nice little place, even though there isn't even room for a kitchen table (which is a CRIME because I have dreams of food get-togethers, of course).  We got some plants a while ago, and that certainly spruced things up.  But wouldn't a small pet really be great?  We can't have dogs in our apartment, but we can have a cat... for the nominal price of $50/month !

Yes, cats pay rent here too.  Thanks, overpriced DC area.

That cost is ridiculous, but I thought maybe I could just smuggle the cat in... no one would know, right?  Or maybe we'll find a new place close by after our lease is up, some place where you can actually eat at a real table instead of those fold out tv table things.

I started looking for places to get pets online - shelters, SPCA's, Washington Post ads, etc.  On the SPCA's website I found an adorable little kitten named Turtle.  He was brown, black and gray splotches.  The website described him as playful and curious.  Alright, I probably should be looking at descriptions that say something like 'peace-loving' and 'loves to cuddle,' but he was just too cute.

But then I noticed on the website that it says the kittens can only be adopted in pairs.  Pairs??  $50/month for one cat alone is already too much, not to mention the expense of food, little, and vet bills.  I had to find out if this was true or if it was just to discourage "non-serious buyers."

-----------------------------------
From: seredne@gmail.com
To: [spca representative]
Sent: Mon, 9 Apr 2007 11:37 AM
Subject: Turtle

Hello,
 
I was admiring 'Turtle' today and I noticed that it says they must be adopted in pairs.  If someone just wants one kitten to devote their attention to (seeing as how kittens can be a handful!), I am just wondering why these kittens must be adopted in pairs?
 
Thanks,
Seredne
-----------------------------------

I tried to present myself as a thoughtful and sensitive cat-lover, thinking I might win her over.  Nope.

-----------------------------------
From: [spca representative]
Sent: Monday, April 09, 2007 11:59 AM
To: seredne@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Turtle
 
Hi Seredne,
 
This is a misconception that most people have when deciding to add a cat to their home.  One single kitten will likely be lonely and destructive.  I can't tell you how many people contact us every summer having gotten a single kitten and soon realize it was a mistake and seek to find a second kitten.
Please read the info below.  If you change your mind and would consider adopting a pair please get back in touch with us.  Thanks

When Should Kittens Be Adopted In Pairs*
Required when there is not a preexisting kitten or young adult cat in the home
that would likely become a playmate/companion to the newly adopted kitten.

•Kittens need interaction with other kittens for healthy social development.
A kitten learns a lot in the first several months of life from its mother and littermates. Separating a kitten from its mother is often a necessity for adoption purposes, but taking it away from its littermates and isolating it can delay the kitten's development emotionally, socially, and sometimes physically. Kittens who are able to remain with one of their littermates or a similarly-aged companion tend to be healthier and happier, and in the long run, better socialized pets than those who are isolated from others of their kind at an early age.
 
•Even loving, caring, humans are not adequate substitutes for kitten companionship.
Even if a person is fortunate enough to be home quite a bit, the amount of attention a lone kitten will demand is likely to occupy more time than the person has available. A pair of kittens will definitely still want to interact with people, but can keep each other occupied. Most cats, regardless of their age, are highly sociable and are truly happier living with other cat companions. This in turn makes them better pets.
 
•Kittens are curious and crave constant stimulation.
Out of boredom, a single kitten will often entertain itself by chewing plants, climbing drapes and furniture, unrolling toilet paper, exploring electrical cords and sockets, etc. Kittens who live with other kittens may sometimes do these things as well, but if they have another kitten to tumble around and play with it is less likely they'll need to entertain themselves with behaviors like these, which can be destructive and dangerous.
 
•Kittens bite and wrestle with one another--this behavior is normal.
You can't prevent a kitten from doing what comes naturally, any more than you can force a two-year-old toddler to sit still. Though it's not acceptable for a kitten to bite and wrestle with its human companions, in the absence of having a littermate or companion its own age to play with, this is precisely what a single kitten will want to do. Even if you are willing to allow (and can tolerate) this behavior from your kitten, by the time the kitten matures, you will end up with an adult cat who has developed very bad habits ( i.e. biting and scratching as "play").
 
•Kittens are very active at night.
A single kitten is likely to keep people awake at night with constant jumping, pouncing and other "hunting" behavior. With a companion to play with at night, this behavior is minimized because they will have each other to chase and play games with until they too fall asleep.
 
•A single kitten is not a good companion for an older cat.
Kittens have boundless energy. They want to play and run constantly which typically overwhelms and irritates an older cat. Likewise, a kitten is apt to be frustrated that its companion doesn't have its same level of energy. At the very least, this can lead to two very unhappy cats. At worst, behavior problems such as litterbox avoidance or destructive scratching can occur as one or both cats act out their frustrations on their surroundings. Its not likely that the two will have a close, bonded relationship, even after the kitten matures, since their experiences with one another from the beginning of the relationship are likely to be negative. An older kitty is better matched with a cat closer to its own age and temperament.
 
*SPCA requires that young kittens be adopted in pairs unless you have an existing kitten or young cat at home. This policy is NOT based on a desire to increase our number of adoptions. Rather this ensures that the kittens we rescue, nurture, and love are adopted into homes that offer the best possible environment for their social development. We understand that some people will still want to adopt a single kitten. Most rescue groups have similar policies regarding kittens. Thus, we suggest you adopt from a local animal shelter where kittens may not otherwise find any home.
-----------------------------------

SMACK - that woman told me!

I had a single cat for many many many years and he wasn't destructive at all!  He was a little bit grumpy, but that's just his style.  Fine, when we brought another kitten into the house years later he wasn't pleased... and the two bit and swatted at eachother constantly.  But I just can't believe that a place that should be helping loving families adopt animals will not relent on this two cat only policy.  Even if I wanted two cats, the cost really would cripple me.

I tried to explain my side, but...

-----------------------------------
From: [spca representative]
Sent: Monday, April 09, 2007 12:28 PM
To: seredne@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Turtle

There are a lot of conisderations that go into choosing a compatible pair.  What breed/color were your cats?  Sex?  By any chance declawed? Both the same age? Same litter?
 
I would be curious to see if your two cats have any of the characteristics we usually employ when trying for a good match.
-----------------------------------

I didn't even bother responding.

SPCA also hates people who declaw their cats.  They sent me more on how declawed cats have no balance and live completely miserable lives, constantly in fear.  I really didn't get this impression from my other cats, but I guess she's the expert?  Cats have been adopted without pairs for yeaaaarrrs, and many if not most of them are declawed (at least in the front paws).  I could probably deal with not getting them declawed, but the pair-only policy kills the deal. 

I haven't heard from my friends or relatives that their cats are off in the corner drinking all the vodka alone, trying to commit suicide out of the second story window or falling on a kitchen knife.  This woman really made me feel like shit.  I know it's their policy, but she made it sound like I know absolutely nothing.  I don't want to think that Max, who recently died at 19, was incredibly depressed and that we did it to him by not getting two cats.

I guess my cat adoption plan is suspended... for a long time, sadly.

Gifts

So I found a great new reality tv show while I was on vacation. Of course, great means that it's pretty ridiculous... but for some reason I found it completely addicting. I guess they had a marathon going on very late one night, and I just kept watching episode after episode. If you haven't yet seen The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search, then I suggest you do! I'm not even sure that I get the country music television here... probably not, but I can dream.

With all the overtime money I made the other week I decided that I should use at least a little bit of it to buy something nice for myself. I thought about getting a cute little iPod nano, but since I really don't listen to music that much and I rarely buy new music, I thought my money would be spent better with something else. I finally decided on a new computer monitor - 20.1" widescreen!

I love it. And dang, it's even cheaper now than when I bought it last week! Having an enormous widescreen monitor is excellent, everyone's blog looks amazing and games, which I was never that into before, are suddenly much more appealing.

I really like looking at people's photos with the new monitor. Last night I was looking on Facebook, and I found out that someone I knew in college (we took a class together) is engaged. He had just posted some pictures of his fiance, but something looked a little odd. She was clearly in another country, her eyes were always down, and she was always in very traditional dress with her parents standing close by. I realized that this is an arranged marriage!

I've never known anyone who has had an arranged marriage before. He seems completely thrilled about it, referring to her as "my" so-and-so. She didn't look that happy, but who knows, maybe she's excited about it too. The idea of an arranged marriage just baffles me. After all the work we put in to find that person who really understands us and makes us feel good, his marriage will be more about getting to know one another. Maybe that bonds a couple in a way I just can't understand. I don't really know enough (or anything) about arranged marriage to start going off about it, it was just something interesting that struck me when I saw that photo.

T.G.I.T.

Some people get all the good stuff!!

I have been pretty bad about reading other blogs lately. I'm trying to make time to surf around and catch up as much as I can, and today I found myself at Dooce. I've been there before of course, but I think I get scared off every now and then by how enormous that place is.

One thing I love about that website though are her Flickr photos. They always look really good. Is it because of
a) her photography skills
b) her camera
c) the way Flickr presents the photos or
d) her child is freakin' gorgeous.

After my recent Outer Banks vacation I posted the photos on Flickr so that I could easily send them to everyone. They look good, but I think I'll have to rule out c); I can't give Flickr all the credit.

I've had my new camera since Christmas, and I still haven't read the "Advanced Manual" yet. I'm hoping that will give me some better pointers on how to really capture depth and color. In my last year of college, my apartment-mate and I took a photography class. We learned how to develop photos and use a darkroom, but we learned absolutely nothing about using our fancy cameras! I couldn't believe it. It was interesting learning how to develop our photos, but let's face it, after that year when were any of us going to have access to a darkroom? Learning how to use the camera and what to do when taking the photos would have been the useful, lifelong skill.

I thought that Dooce uses a digital camera, so how does she do this? I would love to be able to take rich looking photos like that. But, would it mean I'd have to understand all that crazy data that Flickr posts about your photos and your camera?! Like this:

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Compressed Bits per Pixel: 3 bits
Shutter Speed: 277/32
Maximum Lens Aperture: 157/32
Metering Mode: Pattern
Color Space: sRGB
Focal Plane X-Resolution: 12515.556 dpi
Focal Plane Y-Resolution: 12497.041 dpi
Sensing Method: One-chip colour area sensor
Exposure Mode: Manual
White Balance: Manual
Digital Zoom Ratio: 2816/2816
Compression: JPEG
Image Type: IMG:PowerShot A540 JPEG
Image Number: 1000369
Model ID: 26607616
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Oceanview

Yes, I've been more than M. I. A.

There was a huge project at work causing me to clock almost 60 hours the other week. There are some aspects of the project that are still going on, but the big push should ( should) be mostly over. Right after that, I took my first vacation since starting my job.

I was at the beach from last Wednesday until Sunday. It was pretty damn cold there (even though for some reason it was hot everywhere else), but I still had a really nice time. I met my family there and we stayed in a beautiful, huge beach house. We'd been there before about 5 years ago, and they'd made several excellent renovations on the house, especially to the particular room I was staying in.

I met my brother's new girlfriend as well. She is, astonishingly, a lot like him. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet; things are progressing rapidly! She lives in a different state (they met via a mutual friend's Myspace page), and this was only their second meeting in person. She has already made plans to move in with him in the next few months. It's even more serious than that, but I probably shouldn't go into more detail. Let's just say, "holy shit!" and leave it at that.

The time away was great but of course too short. It's so easy to feel completely light and free at the beach. Even the sun has such a dramatic effect on my state of mind. The drive back from the beach was absolutely gorgeous... windows down, music turned up, I felt confident and impervious... not about anything in particular, but I was okay with not knowing what's going to happen next.

I want so badly to hold on to those feelings. I want to be able to shrug things off that happen at work. I'd like to keep this job, no matter if it's an intense period it is, as "just a job." When I get too wrapped up then things start to spiral out of control. I start to feel strapped down, cornered, and not good enough. I'd love to go into more detail, but I've read too much about people being fired for their blogs, no matter how anonymous I keep it.

My brother's new girlfriend's Myspace page references a site that talks about what a parent goes through when they have a disabled child. I don't know anything about what that would be like for someone, but I think the passage is relevant to other life experiences as well. When I was in high school and college I certainly had a view that I was working towards X. I didn't know what X was, but I was sure I'd get there. Almost like magic, I believed that by the time I graduated I would have accumulated a great amount of knowledge, be an expert in my field of study, be more confident and have a good sense of what I want. Aren't these the myths we're brought up with? Go to college, find yourself, and everything will be okay?

Lately I see lots of literature talking about the struggles of people in their mid-twenties. It seems silly and embarrassing; we're at the age where we should be having the time of our lives, right? Why should we feel sorry for ourselves?

But we do. We don't know what to do with all that has been given to us. We don't know how to move on without losing something important. We've spent our whole lives looking to the future; living in the present just isn't as perfect as our dreams. Maybe, like in the " Welcome to Holland" story, the pain of losing the dream never fully goes away.

My boyfriend and I were recently recounting how some things just don't seem as sweet. In college, every evening spent hanging out with friends was the best evening ever. Now when you're spending time with friends or family, there's a nagging in the back of your mind, a remembering that you can't linger here.. there is work, you have bills, and there's no going back. It's harder to surround yourself with people who share your goals and values.

At the beach, the ocean roar drives out those voices that hold you back and make you afraid. I hope I never forget the ways that it makes me feel and the things it makes me realize that I value... simplicity, simplicity, simplicity... quiet, calm... simple joys... compassion, love, and some spontaneity. We have so much to lose by not knowing ourselves. We can never gain back the years we lose to fear, stress, and worry.

if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
Peter Gibbons, Office Space

No, every day is not the worst day of my life. I'm not there yet by any means, it's just a great quote! Thinking about "Office Space" certainly brings some humor to my situation! Sorry, friends.

I worked 11 hours yesterday, and I'm probably going to have to do that every day this week including the weekend. It's one of those busy times, although I feel like the guy from 'Office Space' who tries to dodge the boss so he doesn't get asked to come in on Saturday. Unfortunately, some people were called in to work on Easter Sunday. EASTER SUNDAY!!?!?!!?!!

I had a mini freak out yesterday, or maybe not so mini... just thinking about how many hours I'll be putting in lately plus how far behind I am in my statistics course. I'm also going on vacation towards the end of next week. Where's the time going? Brakes, please!

On the up side, I had one of the nicest family holidays I can remember. And we all spent more time with each other than I can remember. Maybe losing Max (the cat) and a combination of this military recall put us all on good behavior. I'll find out in the next few days whether the recall is certain.

Saturday night some high school friends came over to boyfriend's house. We talked about colleges, as his little sister is getting to choose which schools to apply to. Virginia has a great set of schools, and I hope she doesn't let weird hang-ups about certain schools cloud her judgment.

It's such a tough time; I see it on her face and I remember how I felt when I was there. Sometimes you wonder if you'll get in anywhere, and you think one bad grade can doom you to living on the streets. I can tell her that it will get better or that it will all work itself out, but I think we all know that it's one of those things you just have to go through first hand... and hopefully laugh about later.

Trapped, again.

So, when is it time to find a new job and when do you just grin and bear it?

Bad bosses and bad work environments are, unfortunately, not unusual. This page is filled with articles on What Makes a Bad Boss - Bad?, How Do You Know When It's Time for You to Go?, Bad Bosses: How to Cope if You Get Stuck With a Bad Boss, ad nauseum.

Some people quit because they just won't stand for those shenanigans. Some people stay and make themselves more miserable because they don't think they have any other option (and maybe they don't). I've played through several situations in my life where I felt trapped in a bad situation. So maybe one of the big reasons I won't leave now is because, what if it's me?

My very first job was at a grocery store. I bagged groceries and then wheeled them out to the customer's car in the sweltering heat to unload the bags in the trunk. People were often rude, but what did I expect for a high school student? I quit after just 1.5 months.

My first year of college, I was disappointed with the school I'd chosen. I wanted some place to push myself more and something that would look more attractive to graduate schools. I transferred. My third year of college I worked for the Residence Life program as an RA, one of those hall monitor types. I didn't quit, but I didn't come back for a second year after being disillusioned with the bureaucracy of the program. Law School? Let's not even go there right now.

So, I've put in my time. I don't quit right in the middle, but what if I'm someone who gets easily or unnecessarily unsatisfied with things? My parents always work overtime and with unappreciative bosses... they're miserable, but they stay.

It took me a long time to learn the opposite of their example, that being unhappy in your job should not be the status quo.

Was I wrong? If most people don't like their jobs, does that make it more acceptable? Is it "just one of those things?"

Unfortunately these questions aren't the only thing holding me to my job. Since I did leave law school after one year, I don't want my next job to think that I'm a job hopper. I feel that I should stay with my current company for at least one year (only about 3 months away). But since I've also been kicking around the idea of nursing school, that would most likely happen Fall 2008, and it wouldn't make sense to find another job only to stay there for less than a year.

But another whole year at my company doesn't sound too good about now. I know we're in a particularly busy patch that will hopefully end in the next two weeks, but I'm just so tired... so tired... SO TIRED of being in these undesirable situations.

It's the Season for Love, Apparently!

At the end of last month I was thinking about how mine and boyfriend's anniversary was coming up soon. We had discussed it in early March when we decided to purchase the Wii; we split the cost and called it our anniversary present to eachother. We're a progressive couple?

I woke up Monday morning pretty grumbly... boyfriend was going to be off of work for a few days so he was still sleeping, and I was just absently checking celebrity gossip blogs. I glanced down at the clock on the computer screen and hovered over it for a moment.

Busted! It was our anniversary!

I don't know how the damn date just crept up on me. I'd been thinking about it in the back of my mind, but for some reason I just kept thinking it was far off. Good thing we had decided previously on the Wii as a gift, otherwise I'd be in the DOG HOUSE! We went out for some Coldstone Creamery after work and, as always, I had a great time.

When people ask me how long we've been dating, I get really squirrelly. Maybe I feel like they'll think there's something wrong with us for dating so long, even though I know we're very different people than we were after 2 years of dating, 4 years of dating, 5, 6, 7, and now 8 years of dating! That's right, I said it outloud and published it on the internet... 8 years!

We don't get into fights, we have similar goals and beliefs, we very supportive of eachother and love to try new things, we get along great and have fun, we don't always share the blankets but we usually share the remote control... sometimes I'll even share food (except for warm, fresh baked cookies and most kinds of cake)! It just keeps working; I can't explain it and I don't want to.

In other very exciting news, a good friend who recently got engaged took me out to dinner on Tuesday night. We enjoyed our Thai food, talked and laughed, and then she said, "I have something to ask you."

If it wasn't for her recently being engaged I would have sworn that she was about to propose to me! That was not the case, but she did ask me to be the Maid of Honor in her May 2008 wedding!

The cost of having lots of male friends led me to think that I'd never be lucky enough to be anyone's Maid of Honor. I'm extremely excited to help her with her wedding. There will probably be many funny incidents ahead, as neither of us have been planning our respective weddings since we were five years old, so we're not exactly experts on the topic. Luckily again there is a lot of information out there, and if there's one thing I'm good at it's looking things up!

Wikipedia tells me that my pre-wedding duties will include:

• Traveling with the bride to help choose a wedding venue.
• Helping to choose and address wedding invitations.
• Going with the bride to help with the shopping for her wedding dress as well as the bridesmaid dresses.
• Going with the bride to register for her wedding gifts.
• Helping the bride with the seating arrangements.
• Hosting and planning the bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party.
• Maintaining communication and organization with the other bridesmaids.
• Attending and assisting during the rehearsal dinner.

Piece of cake, right? No problemo! We'll see what the bride would like to add and/or subtract from that list in the future, and in the meantime I'll start stocking up on some Martha Stewart Weddings and Virginia Weddings magazines this weekend!

As always, any advice in this endeavor is more than welcome!