Compromising with.... Yourself?

Fiance and I had our phone interview with a prospective wedding ceremony officiant last night.  I guess she's technically an interfaith Minister who performs Interfaith, Intercultural, Interracial, Civil/Humanist, and Spiritual but not Religious ceremonies.  She does lots of weddings, and it seems like her specialty is working with couples from two very different backgrounds and bringing their religious beliefs together.  She likes to focus on things that are important to the couple and really create something meaningful.  We both thought she seemed great and she wasn't at all "out there."  We set up a date and time to actually meet her in the middle of August; we both have high hopes.

I guess we should also set up an alternative or two to meet with.  Ha, I just don't want to!  What are good things to look for in a prospective officiant?  I guess mostly liking them is important.

We should probably set up some other appointments as well.  A woman I used to work with recently told me that her best advice (she's getting married in October) is to book the vendors early so that you have it in place.  That doesn't mean picking what flowers you're going to have or which songs should be played, just that you know who your vendor is and you can work with them periodically.  This sounds like good advice to us, so we're going for it. 

I'm thinking that right now is the really fun time of the wedding planning.  We have nothing in stone except for the ceremony and reception site; the canvas is blank.  We don't have anyone else with a signed contract telling us, "I can't do this" or "Sure, but it will cost you more money." 

We don't really have a theme or a "feel" that we're going for yet.  I can see several scenarios... I can something very elegant and classic, something pretty quirky and silly, a shore theme with little shells around, a room that's colorful with tropical flowers, something very crafty with really unique favors and centerpieces, something jazzy and cool, or something very nature oriented with browns and greens/leaves and twigs.  I waver between raucous feast and a more dignified affair.  Seriously! 

We have some diverse interests.  I'm not particularly sure how to accommodate them all.  Even with the wedding shower, I wonder what will be planned for me!  I could see a luncheon with bite sized foods and petit fours, something catered and decorative, or a casual bbq with tiki torches, dogs running around and tossing the frisbee!  I'll be very interested to see which side of Seredne the planners decide to go with... and which side of ourselves that fiance and I want to go with for the wedding!

The T in Teamwork

On Saturday my parents rolled into town around noon.  The table is a great addition to the apartment, even though there's still a bit of crap around it so perhaps it's not FULLY functional yet. 

We went to Sur La Table, where I became the proud owner of the Giant Cupcake Pan!  I'm really not a big shopper/buyer, but how could I resist that pan?  I will of course provide photos when I get to use it.  We also went to Alexandria and I showed them where fiance proposed.  It was hot as shit... let's hope it's not too hot for fiance and I to take some outdoor photos this time next year!  We also found a really great paper store in Alexandria.  They had lots of awesome ideas and kits for do-it-yourself invitations, save the date cards, favors, menus and more.  They'll do it all for you, too, but of course that's a lot more money.  I think my mom and I are creative and crafty enough that we could whip those bad boys out in no time! That store was really a crafty person's dream.  I bought some mini take-out boxes to put together that you can put favors in.  I did notice though that the store was advertising crafty ideas that I've been doing for years... I thought I was the only one!  If only I'd started my own business a few years ago...

On Sunday I went shopping with a fellow bride-to-be to look for bridesmaid dresses for her wedding.  We found some good looking dresses; I guess the bridesmaid 'style' is pretty standard... most things are satin, strapless, tea length, A-line.. and an average of $150.  It's interesting how the same dress fits different body types!  Bridesmaid dresses are cute, though.  I bought an Ann Taylor Celebrations dress to wear to my cousin's wedding last year (and then later in the summer I wore it again to another wedding).  Being a bride-to-be myself has given me a whole new outlook on buying bridesmaid dresses, so I can see how some girls might say, "oh man, I gotta buy a dress!"  But if you think about going to high school prom or even a middle school dance... you probably bought a brand new dress for the occasion, it probably wasn't "cheap", and you probably never wore it again. 

When we weren't moving tables and I wasn't acting as the dress model (who would've thought!), fiance and I spent the weekend watching Freaks and Geeks .  We love getting hooked on good tv shows on dvd, so we welcomed back our favorite obsession.

Tonight we call the minister we have in mind for the wedding.  Judging from the information on her website, I think she'd do a beautiful and meaningful job.  We'll keep our fingers crossed!

Flashback to '99

Last night while finishing unpacking, I found a lot of my old writings and poetry. One particular poem fell out of a notebook. It's dated 1999.

I thought everyone would enjoy me embarrassing myself a little:

The Accordion

This morning I woke up to the sound of an accordion playing outside my window.
I closed my eyes,
picturing the jagged,
folded edges
crushing against each other and pulling apart.
Kind of funny,
Kind of like love.
I think of green tea,
dried paint on my fingers,
fireworks on the beach
I think of life,
and how we're all taught from the time we're born
not to be ourselves
and the rest of our lives we
have to search
to go back in time
to when we didn't know how
to be anything else.
I remember my grandfather's back rubs and Easter egg hunts
and music without words.
Again the accordion breaks the silence with its ceaseless cracking
and I wonder how
I got here from there.

Good morning, world

Why is it that when I set my alarm to get up earlier than usual I wind up waking up later than usual? I can't explain this phenomenon... but it makes me sad!

My parents are coming to my apartment tomorrow to bring the kitchen table that we actually have room for now in the larger apartment. This means that unpacking should be mostly complete, as my parents are hounds that sniff out mess and disarray. There's a lot to be done, no willpower to do it, and a short timeline to get it done!

I did, however, finish the two biology quizzes that I needed to take so that I would not be withdrawn from the course; these distance learning courses set up some periodic deadlines to keep people from slacking off until the last minute. Not like I know anyone who would do that... ahem. The grade average for the quiz I took on Wednesday was 47.36, and the average for the quiz I took last night was 58.06. DANG. I didn't do well at all on the first one, or even that great on the second one, but at least I got above the averages?

So last night after the quiz, I had planned on taking a little break... letting my hair down... meaning, probably going to bed early. Instead I got stuck looking at wedding cakes and table centerpieces and adding photos to a photobucket account for fiance to put on our google wedding map that he's making. Apparently now you can make your own maps in google and save them, putting markers on any place you chose. Fiance is marking places that are important to us, the countries we traveled to in Europe, our high school, where we grew up, where we work, etc. You can also include pictures that pop up when you hover your mouse over the location. We hope that our guests find it fun!

On Sunday I'm going with my friend and some of her other bridesmaids to hunt for the bridesmaid dresses she wants for her wedding, and perhaps also check out some wedding dresses for her. Her wedding will sneak up on us before we know it, so we're really hoping to swoop in there and find some awesome dresses! I'm sure we will emerge VICTORIOUS.

Happy, happy Friday... thank God it's Friday... ad nauseum!

I WANT THIS!!!

Sur La Table Giant Cupcake Pan

The Happiest of Hump Days

Congratulations, me.  Yesterday was my one year anniversary at my job.  It's been a little over one year out of law school and one year in the cold, hard working world.  What have I learned from this experience?  Another job, please.

Fiancé, after watching me come home after work for a year with either apathy or anger, made the recommendation that I either change my attitude about the job or change the job.  Although changing the job will mean that I'll probably be a part of that company for less than one year (if I travel off to another graduate program next fall), I'm not sure that I care any more.  I used to have a good argument for staying, but I think that fiancé has effectively poked holes in each argument.  I was never cut out for legal reasoning, after all.

I have a bio quiz tonight and another one tomorrow.  I've finished Harry Potter.  This weekend should be moderately relaxing!  After my quizzes I'll be able to think about wedding things, watch a movie, curl up in my PJs, give fiancé a reprieve from all the cooking and unpacking he's been graciously doing the last two weeks, and just generally recharge my batteries.  I'm actually quite amazed that I've made it this far.

That doesn't mean I'm off the hook with my two classes, just that I'm passed the two big deadlines where they drop you from the class if you haven't completed a certain number of assignments.  Plus now that the vacationing and moving is over with, hopefully I'll have more time on the weekends to complete assignments so that I don't have to commit suicide during the week. 

Again, I'm really looking forward to the weekend.  I've felt a little strange the last two weeks… sort of 'out of body.'  I think it could be related to just too much change too quickly.  I'm used to painfully slow and deliberate changes; the last month has been amazing but also a complete whirlwind.  Every now and then I get a moment to stop and look down, and I realize I'm not grounded at all.  It's fun to get carried away and caught up for a little while, but when I do it's as if I'm only using half my brain and I wonder where the things that come out of my mouth came from. 

In happier news, tomorrow starts the 365 day countdown to tying the knot!

This has been a public service announcement.

We survived the move... somehow.

In the weeks before the move, we kept wondering whether we were underestimating of overestimating the impending relocation.  Saturday we got our answer - UNDERESTIMATING.

Beforehand we should have cleaned more, thrown more away, and packed more.  By the end of the day I was completely beat.  We took our friends who helped us move out for dinner and beer (where I got, thanks to dehydration and also very low tolerance, quite amusingly intoxicated).  We caught a cab and made our way to the Buffy the Musical Sing Along at the Avalon Theater.  It was a lot like Rocky Horror, in that you got little goodie bags that made it interactive.  It was lots and lots of fun. 

The apartment is still in shambles.  We have internet, so I'm happy!  I have to take two quizzes this week for my biology course on the skeletal system.  So many friggin bones and subsections of bones.  I can't even imagine how early doctors and scientists investigated and classified all these things.  And now I get to memorize it!  It's fun, but I'd rather be reading HARRY POTTER.

p.s. I'm trying to hide from the internet so that I don't actually spoil the ending for myself.

p.p.s. Please unpack for me.

Thank you.

Relieved or Restless

Coming to a decision about something having to do with wedding planning is like...

being able to sit down after a long, hot, sunny day at Disney World,
finding a rest stop after hours of driving, or
quitting law school.

What an immeasurable relief! 

I'm thinking about being sick one day next week so that I have a day to catch up on my life... call it a "mental health day," if you'd like.  I know I just had a vacation not too long ago, but.. umm.. I have no excuse I guess.

I'm looking forward to the planning even though I'm daunted by it.  Maybe when fiance and I have a moment to breath we'll sit down and come up with a schedule for ourselves.  He loves planning and excel spreadsheets (a veteran teacher), so I'm sure we can get some structure here soon enough.  And the more he and I can figure out, the less I have to rely on my mom!

So, we switch apartments tomorrow.  Instead of packing, I spent last night wasting time by looking for a timeline of photos of Britney Spears, from her hayday to her decline.  Usually when Ms. Spears is in the news it really doesn't catch my interest, so last night I was either overcome with a sudden fascination of how someone so rich and "attractive" can have such an amazing downfall, or I just REALLY didn't want to pack.  I'm not sure which is worse.  But seriously, seeing Britney Spears go from bad to worse is like watching "The Hours" and trying to figure out if that's really Nicole Kidman underneath that nose.

Okay, last night wasn't a complete waste.  I did spackle the walls where there were nail holes and one area that had a little dent from when we moved in.  It was a fun roll reversal.  I had fiance go to the hardware store to buy spackle and putty knives.  He had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.  I even specified a brand I'd heard recommended.  I must say, DAP spackle is amazing.  The kind we got goes on pink and dries white; today I couldn't even tell where some of the marks were.  So... spackle and Britney Spears.

I should have internet back on Sunday night.  But, we're dealing with Comcast... and I won't even go in to how I feel about them.  Have a good weekend, everyone.

It's Time for the Seasonal Hair Dilemma

Well, I thought this might happen.  I'm sure I'll find a beautiful wedding dress, the bridesmaids will look great, I'll come up with a neat idea for centerpieces on the tables and for favors, the food and cake should be delightful... but what about my hair?

If you'll recall earlier entries, I haven't had a haircut since that fateful November 2006 appointment... 2 hours long, almost $100 and too short.  Since then I've been afraid to let anyone come near my hair with scissors.  But the situation is getting dire.  I know it's time for drastic measures when I start putting my hair in a ponytail every day just because I'm disgusted with it!

Normally when I get to this point I might just chop it all off again and get right back to where I started from (too short), but now I have "wedding hair" to consider.  I guess that lots of brides where their hair pulled back in tight buns.  I've never been a fan of having my hair up (yeah... I think it makes me look a little too much like my brother!) so having it pulled back 'tightly' is even less appealing.  I think I'd like something loose and with my curls.  But if I cut it all off, that only leaves a short, poofy bob.

Man, I know that I would not want to read a biography about someone's hair on their blog, so I apologize.  Fiance certainly doesn't understand when these, "OMG WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HAIR IT LOOKS AWFUL," crazes strike.  He seems to just stick with, "yes, dear" or "I'm sure that's a great idea" or even better, "you look awesome!" 

Maybe it's a hormonal thing... these crazes only occur once in awhile... and they come on strong and fierce!  I will not rest until I get it cut (in some form or another)!

Feelin' the Burn

So things are probably going to be like this for a little while longer (ie inconsistent).  Fiance and I are moving this weekend and I'm in a BIG crunch with the two courses I'm taking.  Moving + two courses + working fulltime + usually some overtime as well + planning a wedding = SUCK CITY 3000!

Hooray for being an adult?

Yesterday I got a nice card in the mail from a friend congratulating me on our engagement.  She is also recently engaged and her wedding is in early May 2008.  I wrote her an email to thank her for the card, and I also updated her on where our ceremony and reception are.  A few hours later I received a response back that said:

"Why are you copying me...that is exactly what we are doing :)  Thank God you didn't say May 10, 2008 or we would have to throw down."

Uh oh! 

I wasn't mad or anything, this isn't like when another girl wears the same dress as you to the prom.  The city where we're having our weddings isn't THAT big, and there's only so much to chose from.  But it IS something to think about.  I don't know that I want to go to a wedding in the same place where mine will be two months earlier.  Part of me thinks maybe it will break some of the magic of seeing it all set up for a wedding.  Maybe I'd be comparing what she has to my plans too much.  Who knows!? 

Maybe talking about "breaking the magic" is silly altogether and I should just snap out of it.  But then again, won't walking into that room full of all our friends be pretty damn close to magic?  I know I have months and months to think about it, and I'll feel embarrassed about not going, and maybe then she'll decide not to go to mine... but.... I just don't know.

In other news, I'm going to a Buffy the Vampire Slayer sing along this Saturday night. Apparently the musical episode, "Once More with Feeling," plays on the big screen while actors (not the real ones) also come out and sing at the same time... and of course, the audience sings.  I'm hoping to have an awesome time and possibly to meet some fun and awesomely nerdy people to befriend. 

After the complete craziness of this month is over, I'm hoping to enjoy some quiet time with fiance.  Maybe we can turn off the computers, turn off the phones, and just have no communication with the outside world for an entire weekend.  We'll just read, sip pina coladas, maybe watch some BUFFY... I don't know... but it will be great and I'll keep my fingers crossed that this stress breaks (before I do)!

Segway to my Heart

Friday!! This is thrilling! The first week back at work after a vacation is not fun at all.

I think I may need to get my engagement ring resized AGAIN. He bought it in our hometown, which means that if I part with it I have to wait an entire week until the following weekend when I can go back and pick it up. In the heat it’s tight, but in the cold, air conditioned office or the shower it turns to the side and can easily slip off. Sometimes in the office I wrap a little bit of tape around it, but this is ridiculous… it’s a diamond ring! And I hate ring guards; they pinch the skin on my fingers.

Tomorrow is fiancé’s birthday! We’re going to see Harry Potter. We had a long talk the other day about my job. I was being miserable about it, as usual. I was even feeling pretty down on nursing as a career option. He said that I should either change my attitude about my job or change my job. Suddenly the reasoning I’d been using to keep myself there until next summer doesn’t seem as persuasive as it used to. But finding and interviewing for a new job, going through all the training, waiting to get on a new benefits plan and health care package sounds like a lot of work I’d rather not have. And if I’m too lazy, I should really quit my bitchin’.

A good friend has already said he won’t be coming to the wedding (over one year away). He has a lot of social phobias. In college he went home to his parents’ house every single weekend, all four years. He did it also once he started medical school, but then he got into a car accident that almost killed him. He had to unenroll from school to work on physical therapy, etc. When he started med school again the following year, at first he didn’t drive home as much, but it wasn’t long before he started doing it again. Usually we can’t get him to hang out passed dinner time. He told fiancé and I that he’ll either be studying or doing rounds at the hospital that day, so he can’t come.

I guess I should be understanding if he really has a problem, maybe he can’t control it. But instead I find myself pretty pissed off. He’s known fiancé and I since high school, and we never ask for anything. Is it so much to come out and eat a free meal prepared by a four-star chef, enjoy free beverages, and spend time with your best friends? At first I thought he would probably warm up to the idea after awhile, but now I just don’t think so.

p.s. I got to ride a SEGWAY in Disney World!

BOOKED

I'm baaaaack.

Alright, I've been back since Sunday, but I'm not really sure what day or date it is. We're moving soon, it's time to get serious with the classes I'm taking, work is work, and, oh yeah, planning a wedding!

One friend who is getting married in May 2008 keeps telling me how far ahead of her I am in planning. I'm not! It’s just that reception sites get gobbled up quickly, so if we want a summer wedding we have to MOVE. A year from when he proposed was late June… then there’s July… then there’s August… then it’s fall already! Not that a fall wedding would be bad, but with friends in grad school or possibly one of us there next year it might makes things more then a little tricky. Also we knew we wanted to get married at our alma mater’s chapel, and August begins to interfere with the revered home football game schedule (they don’t let you get married on football weekends… and they shouldn’t! the place would be a madhouse).

So, if you want to get married at the university chapel you have to enter a lottery system one year before. If you want a July 2008 wedding, then you have to get your name in the hat by July 1, 2007. They start pulling names out of the hat on the first working day of the month and you just have to take whatever is left when your name is called. We decided sure, let’s put our name in there for July.

Luckily we got date we wanted!

The next step was finding that reception site and, again, they go quickly. We decided to go with the city where the university is (that seems to make sense, right?) because that’s where we’re having the ceremony. It’s not a very big city at all, so that limited our choices even more.

My parents went there to visit possible sites on their July 4 holiday, while boyfriend and I were still in Disney. They kept calling to give reports on what they found, but seriously people, we were in DISNEY. It’s a little hard to focus, and I didn’t have internet access. They seemed pretty insistent though that we should go visit these places as soon as possible.

So Friday when we checked out of our Disney resort we hit the road… HARD. We drove the entire day and made it back to VA in about 13 hours. It was a long, long day!

The next day we got up and drove to visit those reception sites. The first place was great, the second place was REALLY not us (think old white men on horseback hunting foxes… think colonial), and the third place was absolutely fantastic. My parents also loved the third place. It only had two weekends left in July that weren’t reserved – and ours was one of them!

So, wedding ceremony site and reception site are BOOKED. And the reception site takes care of the catering!

Sure, that leaves attire, florist, entertainment, transportation, SOMEONE TO MARRY US… but I’m feeling damn good about where things are right now. And so far it’s really been easy. I feel like it’s not supposed to be easy. I’m supposed to sweat and cry and all that. Well, the 13 hour drive wasn’t easy… of course. Tips and advice are always welcome, too. :-)