Perhaps 'The Hell With That' Should Be Changed To 'Beware of Village Idiot'

Today I had a meeting at 10am to brief me on this short term job I have coming up.

From 8-9am I couldn't double check my directions because the internet in this apartment decided to die for the first time ever.

9am... called apt office to put an apt I'm considering leasing on 'hold'... the lady wasn't in yet
9:05am... leave for meeting
9:20am.... get really lost and wind up where I started from
9:25am... apt lady calls back, trying to talk to her while being lost
9:45am.... stuck in traffic still
10:05am... lost again
10:10am... bought a map
10:30am... arrive at meeting.... 30 minutes LATE

1pm.. finally get back

1:30pm... turn down job offer that just won't pay the bills

2pm... talk to some people about the apt I put on hold, realize maybe I should look at more apts
2:30pm... find scathing reviews of the apt I put on hold... panic

... spend a few hours calling other apt complexes and spazzing around

5pm... remember I have an interview tomorrow; feel the urge to vom

Things You Never Want to Read on Your Shampoo Bottle

My aunt is all about beauty products, long nails with detailed designs, and hair spray (guess which state she lives in?). While in Philly she gave me a really nice bottle of shampoo from Philosophy. Well, it's actually "Award Winning Ultra Rich Shampoo, Shower gel, & Bubble bath." One minor problem...

Excessive use or prolonged exposure may cause irritation to skin and urinary tract.

Too Sweet, Too Sweet for Philly

This past weekend I went to Philadelphia for my cousin's wedding. How could anyone have told me that Philadelphia is better than Pittsburgh?

Coming over the bridge into Philly, all you see are big factory things and broken buildings. Coming into Pittsburgh you see mountains, valleys, houses on hillsides. I am not a city girl.

I stayed with a friend from college on Saturday night. Aside from the permeating odor of pot in her hallway, a band decided to have a rock concert on her roof from about 1am to 3am. My neighbors in Pittsburgh left me baked goods by my door and mostly didn't support technology... or electricity on Saturdays.

Heinz Ketchup, Iron City Beer, Chipped Ham, Primanti Brothers, Pierogies, Kielbasa, the Steelers, my Hasid neighborhood, little delis, excellent museums and parks, the three rivers, the view of the skyline from Mount Washington; Pittsburgh is an amazing city.

Pretty Little Things

A lot of people hate on Martha Stewart. She did some shitty things, but
1. She did time; that's more than most celebrities do when they step in shit.
2. She has built an amazing empire.
3. She's actually quite talented.

I'm not a woman who has always been obsessed with weddings. Much to the dismay of many of my law school classmates I do not have a picture of my ideal wedding, nor have I already decided on names for my non-existent children. But I do have an appreciation for Martha's wedding cakes.

If you refer to the post "Wanted - Dream Job" you will see that baking and decorating cakes was in my want ad. Preferably it would be nice to do wedding cakes.

But I'm not sure how I feel about her latest magazine, Blueprint.

Blueprint seems nice enough at first. The advertisement lists a bunch of fun things:

16 Instant Artwork Ideas
3 Simple Scarf Patterns
Dinner Party in a Box
Carpet Pinboard How-to
Create Your Own Wall Worthy Artwork

But then it also has some things that make me wary. I get the feeling that this magazine is trying to be a combination of Cosmo and Good Housekeeping. Not just the handy and neat art/food/plant stuff from Martha Stewart Living, but also adding in the ways to please your man/slimming swim suits/how Janet Jackson lost the weight and kept it off that you might find in another magazine... another magazine that I would not read.

Dresses that go from the office to out on the town
This Spring's hottest makeup trends
Beauty, fashion, fitness

Of course it's a great idea, and I'm sure plenty of people will be interested. And I'm probably blowing this out of proportion, but it just goes against what I thought Martha was all about. She didn't seem into the beauty tips or what to wear for a night out. Martha means cakes and pies, growing awesome herbs and whipping them into an incredible dinner, and how to make a unique craft out of an old coffee can. Why did she (ie her marketing department) have to mess with that killer formula?

The One Where I Stick My Foot In My Mouth

Well, apparently my people reading skills are not what I thought. Turns out the fembot and recruiters loved me, and I was offered the job.

Thus, my credibility goes out the window?

The One With the Interview

I often wonder if my life is actually like The Truman Show; that someone, somewhere is watching me for his or her amusement.

When I go to the grocery store alone, I've been known to drop my 24-pack of diet pepsi all over the parking lot. Sometimes in Pittsburgh when my landlord would come down the stairs, I would turn off my lights so that he wouldn't be tempted to come talk to me. Yesterday, my first serious job interview was no exception to my pattern of erratic behavior.


Interview at 2:30pm.
Left the apartment at 1:30pm.
Distance between apartment and interview location: 2 miles.

1:40pm, arrive at metro stop, just missed the train... have to wait 10 minutes for the next one

1:55pm, arrive at next metro stop, just missed the train... wait another 10 minutes for the next one

2:15pm, leave the metro, begin walking down the street towards interview location

2:20pm, realize I don't think I'm walking in the right direction, ask the nice hot dog vendor for help, begin racing in the opposite direction

2:22pm, notice that high heels means bloody heels

2:25pm, arrive at interview location, security guard takes me directly to the elevator

2:26pm, realize that I am sweating profusely with no time to cool down


The scene basically just got worse from there. It was truely a comedy of errors with me trying to clandestinely wipe sweat from my face (which really isn't possible during an interview) and hide my bloody feet, and the fembot interviewer smiling and nodding at whatever I said in between trying to get an eyelash out of her eye.

I was even all ready for the firm handshake, but she just offered me a limp gesture that was more like a handsqueeze than a handshake.

As proper job interview etiquette calls for, I e-mailed my thank you letter today. But don't worry, Internet, I have no illusions about this.

Hey Slate, Don't Quit Your Day Job

I was just commenting last night how Slate was beginning to roil me. Here they go again.

I went to the Human Nature section, which usually has a few interesting tidbits about some biological debate or bizarre health problem. But I suppose even that section has now turned into another grossly unsupported opinion section.

Today's headline, "Goodbye, Mother Nature: The decline of pregnancy, and the death of menstruation," leaves me wondering just what it's going for. Does Slate have any idea just how many women take birth control pills? Women use the pill like someone would use vitamins. Perhaps if they're going to hint that birth control pills will both kill us all and lead to the end of healthy offspring, they should back it up with a little something.

What does the small article say? It says doctors are increasingly doling out the pill, and maybe it's not such a good idea to "fool Mother Nature." Yet, no scientific studies are cited to support this opinion. Slate writer William Saletan instead does it the old-fashioned way... he uses a pro/con list.

Number one on the list in favor of using the pill is "Periods suck." Good thinking, Slate. Man am I glad I took the time to read this article. It really puts things in perspective. It's almost too much information for me to take in at once.

Slate, I have figured you out. You are so popular because you feed on our dark human weaknesses. You post strange, salacious articles about sex, and you know that we will read it. You take popular subjects and put forth unpopular explanations, and you know that this sort of skepticism and snark is right up my alley. You mimic those sensational stories that you see in the grocery store at the cash register with headlines like, "Fifty Foot Jesus Appears in Montana Disguised in a Monkey Suit;" except your headlines are just believable enough that you get away with it.

It figures, you even wrote an article a few years ago on how the National Enquirer actually has more journalistic accuracy than people give it credit for.

I'm on to your game!

Bitch-Smacked by Whole Foods

Alright, so I don't grow my own food, I eat meat, and in a choice between taking the metro or driving my car, I choose my car. Despite all that, I always fancied myself a bit of a tree hugger. One of my co-workers at my last job even called me "earth muffin." He was also a little creepy, and I think he looked at porn during work.

But today I realized just how not granola I am. Today I went to Whole Foods.

I'm surprised I hadn't been there before. The fruits and vegetables are stacked with painstaking care. The whole store is an obsessive-compulsive's dream; my mom really dropped the ball on this one.

Slate, of course, tried to hate all over Whole Foods. Why Slate hates on everything lately I just don't know. Just the beer section alone in Whole Foods was enough to bring tears to my eyes. They even have Hofbrau; I tried it while in Munich, Germany at the Hofbrauhaus, and it was the first beer I ever enjoyed.

So, while I will not be switching to Whole Foods full-time (it's just too friggin' expensive no matter how pristine and nature-friendly it is), I learned two things today...
1) I am a poor excuse for any kind of mother nature lover, and I had better get serious... fast.
2) There are many types of beer in the world, some from foreign countries and bearing attractive labels, and they are eagerly awaiting entry into my stomach.

It's All About the Dough/Clams/Green Stuff/Benjamins/Loot/Pesos...

Normally, I love the news. And I'll breeze through just about any article that catches my eye. Sometimes, atrocious titles catch my eye, and then I have to avert my face from the keyboard so as not to get vom all over it.

Such an incident occurred just this evening. I was clicking through the New York Times, making sure I didn't miss anything big today, when I saw this title, "The Success of Ryan Seacrest."

I was hoping that this article was someone's feable attempt at humor, but no, it's dead serious.

I tried to read the article as a serious piece of journalism, but I failed. Sure, Ryan Seacrest works really hard. His schedule must be overwhelming and terrifying. But that doesn't make him any less creepy. He did also date Skeletor/Terri Hatcher.

Mr. Seacrest blamed his tight schedule and overwhelming media scrutiny of the relationship for his decision to quit Ms. Hatcher. "She's clever," he said. "She's self-deprecating. She's successful. She can pay for dinner. What's wrong? It is strange, but I don't think it was a Teri Hatcher issue. It's a Ryan Seacrest issue."

Yes, I concur.

In other pop culture news, Madonna shocks the world with her tour. One of her scenes includes hanging from a giant cross.

I'm all for pushing the envelope or being offensive, but what's the point here? I don't care how many times Madonna reinvents herself, it just doesn't feel like quality any more to me. Shocking people just to shock; it's tired. Also, I don't understand (please explain to me if you do) how she can start out with this material girl/slutty/groveling in front of black Jesus image, then condemn that image as stupid/childish/naive/whatever she said, and then embrace it all again on this new tour? If she doesn't believe it anymore, then I guess it's just a money thing. So let's be honest, Madonna.

I don't hate Madonna, but wow, some people certainly do. Sharon Osbourne said,

“She’s a t**t. I would like to punch her. She is so full of s***.

“She’s in Kabbalah one minute, she’s a Catholic the next — she’ll be a Hindu soon no doubt. F*** off you t**t.”

Harsh words. Apparently there's even a rare book out there for Madonna haters.

I'll take Evita-Madonna over these new schizophrenic Madonnas any day.

From Poop to Riches?

This job hunting business is exhausting. You spend so much time searching, and over half the things you take the time to read about are not even in your league.

I have an interview coming up with a company that I think would really be a great start. Good pay, decent work, not terribly stressful so I'd have time to consider my goals before jumping into the next thing head first. But the actual position that I have the interview for just won't pay enough. So I'm going to try to weasel my way into a different position during the interview. I've heard they often interview for several positions at once, so... here's hoping...

The temperature is pretty awesome here. Perhaps I bring the cold with me wherever I go.

Yesterday I went to the zoo. I know that everyone has to start somewhere, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't completely suck. We were in the bird area, and some guy (early 20's) was inside the cage cleaning up bird crap while the birds were in there. You couldn't pay me to get in a locked area with those birds; of course, they probably DON'T pay him. He probably does that job because he wants some higher up job at the zoo. Who said that any experience is good experience? How do you network with fellow zoo workers when you're in a cage scraping up miscellaneous bird nastiness? And birds really are nasty.

I took a picture of the guy, but I left my cord to put the pictures on the computer at one of my two other locations. More later.

We also had the pleasure of watching some flamingos get it on. After the male flamingo was "finished," he started strutting around making noise and picking fights with the other flamingos. Those other male flamingos who didn't get any sure must have felt low.

The male flamingo got so excited that at once point he actually jumped on top of the female and his feet were on her back. Who knows how that works out. I never read the Kama Sutra for flamingos. A quick googling clears up some of the confusion; apparently this was a pretty normal fling:

From BuschGardens.org:

E. Copulation.

1. A female will most often initiate copulation by walking away from the group. A male follows close behind.
2. The female stops, lowers her head, and spreads her wings. This behavior is an invitation to the male to mount her.
3. Mating most often occurs in the water. The male jumps onto the female's back from behind, firmly planting his feet on her wing joints.
4. After mating, the male stands on the female's back, then jumps off over her head. He may then vocalize and shake his wings.

They are sassy birds.

From Miami University of Ohio:

A female flamingo will most often initiate mating by walking away from the pat, or group, with her larger male counterpart following close behind. She invites the male to mate close to the water during the summertime. After mating the male stands on the female’s back, then jumps off over her head. Both parents actively participate in nest building, incubating, and chick rearing. The flamingos form long-term pair bonds, so they will be looking for the same mate when mating season comes around next summer. Breeding is synchronized within the pat so that most of the birds are laying eggs at the same time.

Well that's nice... they only want to jump off of one female's head.

Animals are hilarious.

Hippies Use Side Door

Wandering around/running errands in the land of white, upper-middle class, fancy tennis skirt wearing Panera Bread peoples has made me reflect on the small wonders I am now missing out on back in my soon to be ex-city.

For example, on pleasant days you could always count on the tall, skinny hippie woman to be playing her violin outside Giant Eagle. She had a hat out for money, but she was never forceful. She was incredibly nice and good-natured. Trudging to and from the grocery store between some form or another of law school death usually made me envy her; I wanted to be rockin' out on the violin.

She was also really talented. Usually random street musicians are playing some version of Hot Cross Buns, but this woman really knew the instrument and had memorized some incredibly challenging pieces. I don't think she was homeless, and I'm not even sure that she needed the money. I think, or at least I like to believe, that she just loved to play. She understood what she did for people. And, Giant Eagle never made her leave their property. They must have assumed that happy customers meant loose credit cards.

Rats off to ya, violin playing hippie woman. I will always remember the vibrant, ephemeral joys of your music and disposition.

Addendum

Just a short note about the previous entry in which I reference my resume...

Don't expect it to have skills that are really relevant to what I want to do/enjoy doing. Except for the reading... I'm good at that.........

Wanted - Dream Job

In search of my dream job...

Duties include, delivering babies in the morning followed by reading manuscripts at my publishing company until lunch. After lunch I travel to my bakery where I bake and decorate cakes until it's time to check if my photos are done drying in the dark room. I leave work, get dinner, and take some more pictures or mess around with something crafty or electronic. On special occasions my band plays in concerts around town, and we only tour briefly.

If you would like to fill this position, please email seredne@gmail.com for a full resume and cover letter.

Dogs and Babies: Getting In Bed With America

Tonight I finished the book Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog. I had heard a lot of good things about it. And it had been a long time since I read a book for pleasure. I wanted to ease back in to it. Also, I had heard this book described as Tuesdays with Morrie with a dog; I loved that book.

I was pretty wary of Marley & Me from the beginning. First, I'm skeptical of things that are widely popular. My boyfriend and I often debate this. He feels that if something is critically acclaimed by "reputable sources," then he is more interested in it. I find that if something is really raved about then I resist it like a kid who wouldn't eat his asparagus no matter how many starving children there are in China.

Second, this book is about a dog. Dogs and babies, how can you go wrong? Who is going to hate a heart-warming tale about the family dog's misadventures? But I'm interested in good writing (structure, flow, etc) and discovering the author's solid, distinguishable voice. With the formidable assistance of dogs and babies, I figured that this book could have been literary crap but no one would notice.

It took me a long time to really get into it. Of course I knew from the first page that I was hooked enough to read until the end because of, see above, dogs and babies. But John Grogan, the author, was clearly and unmistakably a journalist. Of course plenty of journalists write books, but a different style of writing really needs to be applied. Grogan did not use short, news-style sentence fragments, but did write with a certain "this happened, then this happened, insert joke here, everyone had a good laugh, this happened, this happened, that good 'ol dog is at it again."

I felt that it was fairly stiff and forced. No doubt this man loved this dog, and the dog had a tremendous impact (good and bad) on his family. But how this book translated to me (or just a broader audience) I never quite grasped. Of course, this could be mostly my own problem, as I have never owned a dog.

Doggie dreams have been dancing around in my head more and more in the recent past. I picture long walks with the dog, cuddling it as a puppy, enjoying a movie with the big furball at my feet... yet what do I really know about owning and raising a dog? It sounds great in my head, but Marley & Me really gave me a different reality. Marley failed out of obedience school, he ate everything in sight, his owners often had to pry his jaws apart to reclaim possessions, he yakked inside the house, he made giant poops, he broke things, he tore up walls and furniture, and he gave golden showers to neighbors. Clearly this book was about loving your stupid dog in spite of its gross antics. It gave moments for you to point and laugh and say, "Oh man! I remember when Sparky did this! What a great dog!" Or, "thank god Rover never acted like this! I sure love my dog!" Or, "dogs will be dogs!" But... cleaning up dog yak? Young, unemployed, idealistic dog virgins beware.

Further, despite my severe lack of dog owning knowledge, there were some incidents in the book that did not seem quite right - something I would have thought a dog owner would not want to do. The author and his wife left the newborn babies alone with the dog a lot. Fine, they trust their dog. But still, if this dog really had the serious mental problems that are written about the rest of the book, how do they know that he wouldn't just go mental with the baby? It just seems like a chance you wouldn't want to take. Also, I've always heard that when an animals back legs go then that means it's really time to think about putting them to sleep. Life is just very uncomfortable for them at that point. Again, I've never had a dog. But this dog's back legs were bad for many many months. He often couldn't get up stairs or around the house. Sure, the dog had good days, but the good days did not seem to be the majority.

In the end of the book, Grogan tries to pull it all together. His last thoughts are moving. He references the life lessons that he learned from Marley: loyalty, courage, devotion, simplicity, joy. I reflected on the importance of these ideas, maybe even finding that they are the most important family lessons that we can strive for and remember. But I'm not sure that he proved his conclusion. All the pieces may have been there, but I don't think that they were connected throughout the story. Sometimes the author's life seemed to take the lead, forgetting about the dog completely. Other times the dog stories were just overly drawn out, beating some kind of greater meaning out of every word.

This book was no Tuesdays with Morrie, though the way Grogan ties it together at the end with the themes of loyalty, courage, devotion, simplicity, and joy may make it all worthwhile. Plus, dogs and babies... can you really say no?

"I'll Be Back"

So long old city...

Well, I won't be gone for too long. I forgot important things and still have an assload of furniture to move out, and I'm not quite sure when my lease is ending anymore.

Living in three cities over the summer seemed like a good idea at the time? How many of you can say that great quote from Arrested Development,

"I've made a huge mistake."

At least I'm done... right??

Can't Wait for 2008

The election in 2008 is going to be incredible. The build-up, for one thing, is astounding. Getting George Dubs out of the White House is not even in the front of my mind. I just can't wait to see how everything changes: the economy, the war, and all the wrath directed towards the central government. I can't even say that I hate the President because it's all too obscene. I am hoping some real good will spring from it all.

I will admit that in the past I have always been a Hillary Clinton hater. The woman just rubbed me the wrong way. It really had nothing to do with her politics and more to do with the fact that she stood by a man whose number of casual oral favors would rival George Dubs' disapproval rating. Where's the self-respect? When I thought that it was all just a cold, calculating political move I was even more disgusted. I have friends who herald her as a hero, or even a saint, among women.

I sure as hell do not think Hillary is a hero or saint. But, she is a woman. And even though I'm not even sure anymore what her politics are, as today's "Who Are You, Hillary" article by Richard Cohen points out, that may be enough for me.

We need change. Big change. Not the kind that the usual bantering back and forth between parties is going to solve. I'm not saying that a woman is going to solve all or even most of the problems, but it would be a nice kick in the ass after the last eight years. We need more change than some presidential nominee standing up and saying, "George Bush ruined this and that, but I'm going to turn this boat around." We need something symbolic. Sometimes people need a visual.

Thus, after years of hate, Hillary and I became fast friends. They say the five stages of grief are:
1. denial
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. depression
5. acceptance

What about Seredne's five stages of love? I think it would look rather similar:
1. violent hate
2. denial
3. anger
4. bargaining
5. sweet love

FOUR down, ONE to go

Fifty Smart Places to Live

This was a great little compilation. There are so many hidden gems out there. I'd love to be able to travel more, and I hope to beginning this summer. I am happy to say that I have had the opportunity to live in THREE of the top 50 'Smart Places.' Maybe more to come?

The link to the article also has Smart Places #11-50. What do you think about these locations?

50 Smart Places to Live
You told us your ideal city is fun, vibrant and affordable. We found dozens that fit the bill.

#1 Nashville, Tenn.
Our top pick offers affordable homes, a mild climate and a phenomenal entertainment scene that goes far beyond country.

#2 Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minn.
The Twin Cities offer a hip and progressive atmosphere with a midwestern sensibility, multiple cultural outlets, pro teams in all four major sports, a dozen universities and colleges, and a diverse economy.

#3 Albuquerque, N.M.
This laid-back city offers resort-town ambience, a boomtown economy and cow-town prices.

#4 Atlanta, Ga.
The capital of Georgia is a vibrant city with a rich history, good health care, a great cultural scene and genteel neighborhoods shaded by magnificent dogwood and magnolia trees.

#5 Austin, Tex.
Home to the University of Texas, the state capitol, the Zachary Scott Theatre and the Umlauf Sculpture Garden and Museum, Austin is a sophisticated salsa of culture, history and politics.

#6 Kansas City
This city split along state lines offers something for everyone: from stately houses to downtown lofts and world-class museums to barbecue.

#7 Asheville, N.C.
A virtually franchise-free downtown, world-class cuisine, amazing crafts, live music venues and fine arts make this city tucked into the Blue Ridge mountain range one of a kind.

#8 Ithaca, N.Y.
True, it's in the Finger Lakes boonies of central New York, but Ithaca is an Ivy League outpost with great food, beautiful scenery and Naderite politics.

#9 Pittsburgh, Pa.
Currently undergoing a renaissance, this hidden gem has distinctive neighborhoods, tree-lined streets, glittering skyscrapers, upscale shops and a diversified economy.

#10 Iowa City, Iowa
An oasis on the prairie, this wholesome middle-American city is bursting with creative and intellectual energy.

THREE down, TWO to go

I'm over the hump now. I almost got nostalgic today... almost.

Well, alright... I am going to miss this photo series.

TWO down, THREE to go

LHOOQ

When I'm not watching episode after episode of The Sopranos (it all went downhill after Season 1, if you ask me), another procrastination method I enjoy is browsing blogs. I tried just clicking 'next' on the little bar at the top of blogspot blogs, but that can be problematic. There are a ton of Spanish blogs (I don't know Spanish), sometimes people remove the bar altogether and have some crazy/busy layout with sparkling hearts and emo music (what is this, Myspace?!), and the chances are also pretty slim of finding one that is what you're looking for.

But lately I have found enough good ones that I can click through their link lists. I guess I should start linking to other people in my sidebar. Can anyone who knows some blog etiquette tell me if it is appropriate to link to people whose blogs you read but have not commented on, etc?

It's amazing seeing how many creative people there are out there. Of course I need my news sites and political commentary, but really right now I just love looking. When I take a break from studying the last thing I want to do is read a blog loaded with giant, unbroken paragraphs of text.

I enjoy looking at crisp, simple layouts. Many of these bloggers post photos of designs and textures in cloth or just what they see in nature. Today I found Micasa, two trees, and Lena. In the last few weeks (I've probably referenced these before) it's been the glass doorknob, oh joy, and Floating World Views.

I can't wait to be done with these exams (and, of course, this whole law school thing) so that I can really craft a cleaner, lighter layout. It won't be long now...

ONE Down, FOUR to Go

If Everyone Jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, Obviously You Would Too

I browsed through Barnes & Noble while studying there today. Just a simple stroll through the bookstore raises such important questions... such as, if being a lawyer is so great, then why are there so many books like Should you Really be a Lawyer, The Lure of the Law : Why People Become Lawyers, and What the Profession Does to Them, and Planet Law School II: What You Need to Know (Before You Go), But Didn't Know to Ask... and No One Else Will Tell You, Second Edition?

Of course my favorite book was Should you Marry a Lawyer? A whole book was devoted just to that topic. Does anyone else see a red flag here? More like a parade of 200 fire engines?!

I also checked out the nursing and medicine sections. I did not see variations of any of the above titles. The only thing I saw that was remotely negative was a book on how to beat procrastination in the nursing section.

Sign me up, damnit!

Give me Answers, not Questions

Let me first say that I love, love, love this friend. She tries to help me all the time with school, since she has been through it before and is now graduating.

Maybe it helps other people to look at old exams, but without the answers I have never been able to understand for the life of me how they are helpful. Okay, you get an idea of the questions, but is that even that helpful? Unless you know those are the questions that will be asked on the exam, wtf!

Thanks for the big deal about giving me all kinds of old exams, but next time please include the ANSWERS!

They Can't All Be Fancy Cakes

I suppose I should counter yesterday's good mood and fancy cake post with an alternative view - the yin to yesterday's yang.

Behold, ugly cakes! (note: these are from random google photo searches)

1. I like to call this blue eye-candy: Great Aunt Pearl barfed on the Cake



2. This one screams: Here's to Spending the Next 40 Years Falling Asleep on the Couch in Front of the TV Goddamnit Don't Forget to Turn off the Lights When You Come Upstairs Let the Dog Back Inside Stop Snoring or You'll Wake the Kids We Never Have Sex Anymore Because of That Goddamn TV I Want to Watch American Idol Instead of the Friggin Playoffs


3. When they said "till death do us part" they really meant it - thus their cake looks like a mausoleum.



4. This is just a cake topper, but gigantic nerds everywhere are pissing on themselves with delight. The rest of the webpage is excellent as well.



5. This and this can't really be wedding cakes... they must have just washed up on the shore.




6. I thoroughly regret taking on this endeavor of locating ugly cakes. I thought that I was 'tough stuff' and that it would just be a good laugh, but even my stomach is too weak for these monstrosities.

Weird Science

Sure, maybe I'm being irrational, but I just can't believe this.

A study of 26,916 suicides in England and Wales found babies born in April, May or June had a 17% higher risk of suicide than those born in the autumn.

Among women, nearly 30% more suicides were committed by people born in the spring while among men the rate was nearly 14% higher than those born in the autumn.

Mothers beware?

Fancy Cakes

I had a great day!

So let's take some time to enjoy the good things in life... like delicious little cakes that look like hats.

Maybe I'll open a bakery called 'Seredne's Eats.' The shop will be in my kitchen, and my only customer will be my stomach.

Happy Rabbit Rabbit Day

I have to believe it's a good omen that Rabbit Rabbit Day and the last day of law school classes coincide! This probably means that very serious studying should commence. Really, it should have happened a long time ago. People study all year long for law school.

I guess I should just come clean with it. I can't stop watching The Sopranos. I had never really seen it before. This is bad for several reasons...

It's a good show in that it's well done and entertaining and all that, but it's not really something that you want to start modeling yourself after. It makes you curse more and talk about 'clipping' people... or when you're mad and someone is joking with you or giving you a hard time you might exclaim, 'quit bustin' my balls!' You'll also develop a craving for Italian food, especially any kind of pasta... referring to the pasta as 'macaroni' and the sauce as 'gravy.'

This isn't the first time I've been addicted to a tv show on DVD (see Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Six Feet Under, Firefly, etc.). But this is the first time that I have really slacked off academically. I barely got by last semester and that was before I had totally given up.

So if I pass this year, I will certainly be writing a book. Instead of How to Ace your First Year of Law School, consumers will enjoy How to Succeed in Law School Without Really Trying. Possibly a little Beating the Socratic Method: What to Wear in Law School to Avoid Getting Called On. These are tips that no 1L should be without.

Rats off to you, law school.